Living, Learning and Loving Simply

Doing Hard Things

2012-02-02T19:41:00.004-05:00

my dirt road trail

I have never had a fondness for formal exercise. I can remember being in about 3rd grade and our teacher taking our class out to run to prepare us for the upcoming Field Day. I was the youngest and the smallest in my class and when we went to run I was always the very last in the pack. I just couldn't keep up no matter how hard I tried. I would huff and puff and feel so tired and like "I just can't do this! Why is she making me!?"

This frustration with running and aerobic exercise followed me through the rest of my years in school. In college I would take aerobic classes and even asked a friend to "teach me to run". And I would last about a week or two and then give up. I always felt terrible after exercise, and when others said, "I get MORE energy when I exercise" or "those endorphins make me feel wonderful", I would quietly roll my eyes.

{Disclaimer: I do like to be active! I love hiking and camping and swimming. Just at my own pace and not for the purpose of exercise...I just enjoy being out in it all!}

I started believing that my body just couldn't handle much.

In 2003 I started reading about midwives and natural childbirthing after feeling dissatisfied with my three birthing experiences. I decided that if I ever had another baby I wanted to give natural childbirth a go. When I got pregnant in 2005 with my 4th child, I knew that my time had come. In 2006, after a labor of only 4 hours, I peacefully had a waterbirth in my own bedroom. My labor wasn't too difficult or long and I felt very empowered. In 2009, I gave birth to another baby naturally...after only being at the hospital for 40 minutes. My active labor went by so quickly and I was very much in control of myself, the pain and birthing. Again I felt very strong and proud that I was able to overcome my fear that I wouldn't be able to birth naturally in a hospital setting.

Last year I became pregnant with my 6th child and believed that my birth would be natural, quick and fairly easy like the last two had been. However this pregnancy ended up being the most tiring pregnancy on my body...my joints and muscles hurt so much and I just ached most of the time. I was so ready to give birth and to get rid of all the achiness I had struggled with for so many months. When I went into labor, my body didn't fall into the groove of laboring fast. This labor ended up being 15 exhausting hours. I felt as if I just couldn't do it because I was SO tired. It was will-power and sheer physical endurance to make it to the blessed moment of birthing Henry. My attitude stunk most of my labor, but I kept going. I felt the Lord whisper to me later, "You can do hard things, Aimee!" That was the biggest lesson I learned from that birth. A very deep and vital lesson after living since childhood with a belief that I can't.

As I am inching my way closer to 40 and also continuing to feel the body-blues after having six children, I decided I would give "exercise" another chance in 2012. I remembered a friend doing Couch to 5K last year and decided I would give it a go. Let me tell you, this is huge for me. I am very anti-exercise :) So my dear husband said that he would do it with me and we began.

About 2 and 1/2 weeks into the program, I began to hate it. The jogging made me feel horrible and I had less energy for my family the day after exercising. My body hurt and I just thought, "See, I can't do this!" My husband kept encouraging me on and I begrudgingly continued. A few days ago, the program increased our jog time. That old rotten mindset of "you just can't do this, Aimee" began to taunt me. But then I remembered Henry's birth. The 15 hours of laboring when I didn't have any strength within me. And the Lord whispered, "You can do hard things, Aimee!"

And in that moment I knew that I CAN do this. I CAN complete this program. I can jog and soon run. I realized just how much of the battle to overcome something is mental. We have to speak truth to ourselves and remind ourselves of what God says about us and to us. And now? I actually began looking forward to the jogging segments. I began to look forward to pushing myself a little harder and seeing that my will makes my body move on.

I can do hard things.

God and birthing told me so.

My Life in Photos

2012-01-17T13:18:00.002-05:00

I am so enjoying taking photos this month. Everyday moments that are seemingly small and mundane...but all of these moments add up to be a big and fulfilling life for me.

In the past year I have gotten increasingly settled in to this whole motherhood thing (yes, I should have a long time ago? I do have 6 children!) All is grace though. More and more each day God is giving me a greater heart and love and acceptance of having all these children. The messes don't make me cringe as much. The reading-aloud isn't draining me as much. The constant talking and chatter isn't making me nuts as much. I am embracing more and more the brokenness yet beauty of it all. And that can only be attributed to God in my life!

walking to church

LEGO unit study

the many faces of a two year old

chubby baby

new journal

gratitude for Mike's life

good reads

soaking up the baby moments

Instagram Love

2012-01-03T13:31:00.002-05:00

My sweet husband bought me an iPhone for Christmas. And really what I was most excited about was using it as a camera! I immediately downloaded the Instagram App and have had fun ever since.

If you would like to follow my photo journey, I put a "follow@aimee73" button on my sidebar. Since I am a very sporadic blogger, this would be a way to see more of the dailiness of my life.

And you? If you are on Instagram would you send me your username so that I might see your journey too? Oh what fun it is to see a "day in the life" of others!

New Year!

2012-01-01T18:36:00.000-05:00

I love the clean slate of a New Year. It just feels so good. All the bright and cheery Christmas decorations are removed and packed away, and I like to leave my surfaces clean and bare in January. A calmness in surroundings for the eyes and heart.

I have spent time the past few days reflecting on 2011. I love taking the time to evaluate where my heart has been, how I've grown and where I need change and tweaking. It is encouraging to see growth each year and to record God's faithfulness to love and sustain even in the midst of storms.

No big resolutions or goals for 2012. Simply to continue the goals and ways of living that I already value. I do want to produce higher-quality work in my crafting and finish two quilts that I started last year. I want to continue the valuable habit of rising early in the morning and walking in an attitude of gratitude. Take lots of photos. Embroider more. Read aloud to my kids. Plan some good unit studies. Go on a vacation or two.

I am re-reading Sally Clarkson's book Seasons of a Mother's Heart. Chapter 1 has convinced me that my word for 2012 will be CONTENT. Choosing to be content when the reality of life doesn't match my ideals. Contentedness when my expectations aren't met due to the limitations of living in a fallen world, of having a large family, of homeschooling, etc. A Content Spirit in the midst of chaos, messes, and all of the "undone" that happens as a mother of many. Only grace and trusting in God's sovereign goodness will get me there!

May you have clarity and peace with where God is leading and growing you. May you see His generous hand in your life in the dailiness and enjoy the moment-by-moment gifts that He gives. And may we all give each other grace and love as we go!

A Lesson from Bread

2011-12-16T13:10:00.002-05:00

I have always feared yeast. It seems like this crazy, living ingredient that I cannot control. And I have never known what a bread recipe means when it says to use "warm water". Seriously. It sounds so ambiguous. So I skip those kinds of recipes and have been content that I just can't make bread.

Well wouldn't you know that I randomly decided to make this bread in my bread machine, and it comes out perfect every time. I couldn't believe it. I credited my bread machine.

Then my niece came down for a visit during Thanksgiving and mentioned that she makes artisan bread. I asked her to come over to my house to teach me to make this "artisan bread in five minutes a day". I had checked that book out from the library a few years ago and it had felt too intimidating to me. After she taught me, I have successfully made beautiful free-form loaves ever since!

Two of my friends have been making sourdough bread for years. I tried it once, and again, it felt too hard. But now with my newly found success with bread-baking, I tried to make it again. Success!

So now I have three different kinds of bread that I can make and my children love it. I am told almost daily, "Mom, you make the best bread!"

I tell you this whole story to simply say, "Try, try again!" So many times we give up on learning new things whether big or small when we face failure, obstacles, or believe the lie "I just can't do this." I have learned this in SO many areas, I CAN do it...if I am willing to be humble, ask questions, fail, and try many times.

I hope that I am modeling to my children to never give up on learning new skills or believe that they can't do something. With good instruction, time, practice, most of us can learn most things. That's really cool.

How To Take A Homeschooling Holiday Break

2011-12-07T12:53:00.007-05:00

I believe in a lifestyle of learning and seek to create that atmosphere every day no matter the season, but we all need a break from the more formal look of learning and a chance to just be and dream and do whatever. I think I told you a while back that we are doing a three month on/one month off homeschooling "schedule" this year. I made sure that the "one month off" would be December! I wanted our Advent season to be filled with unstructured days to allow for baking, movies, making, playing games, decorating. As December came along though, all of our "schoolish" stuff in our dining room kept staring at me and I felt this vague sense of guilt that we weren't having structured learning.

How to remedy that?

We brought down all of our holiday decorations that are stored in big Rubbermaid bins. We emptied the bins and into those bins went anything resembling "school" :) And it was all whisked away to the attic! In place of all the books and manipulatives that lined the shelves in our dining room, we put decorations, a Christmas CDs and board games!

It truly *feels* like a vacation now. And come January I think all those school-y things will look new and interesting again. Until then, we can simply operate as a home and not a homeschool. I like that!

image credit

Advent Simplicity

2011-12-02T12:47:00.004-05:00

I am amazed at how easily and quickly I can be overwhelmed and stressed by this season. With all of the wonderful ideas floating around in the blog world and on Pinterest, it's easy to make the mental to-do list way too long and place on myself unrealistic expectations to create deep spiritual moments, make super-cute crafts, have an awesome Christmas music play-list, bake an amazing array of cookies, wrap presents with beauty, and plan for daily moments of Advent fun for all six of my children. Holiday inspiration overload!

It's so important to reign all of that in and say "no" to many fantastic ideas and only say "yes" to a few things...things that are easy, light, meaningful and don't create stress for the mama. I was supposed to bring cookies to a swap this evening, but yesterday I realized that the thought of baking 6 dozen cookies was causing much stress in my heart and probably wasn't even wise because I am battling a cold. So I declined and that was that.

We must feel the freedom to not be enslaved to others' or our own crazy expectations of what it should all be like. We need to be flexible and realize that every tradition we love may not work for our family every year. It's okay to let go and only do the things that bring joy and peace and simplicity to our lives. The thought of doing the Jesse Tree this year was giving me a stomach ache. I am not even kidding. My kids didn't love it the past two years and much of it was going over their heads. Then a friend posted a link to the Advent Event and it immediately seemed like the perfect fit for us.

I was amazed though that I felt like I HAD to do the Jesse Tree, and that if we didn't, I was depriving us of a meaningful tradition that focuses on Jesus. I had to get to the place of realizing (again!) that I have GREAT freedom in Christ and that He wasn't upset if I didn't do Advent devotionals! He is just as "pleased" and accepting of me when I bake cookies as when I sing hymns. I bring Him glory as I sit at my sewing machine making cards just as when I read a devotional. All of life is worship...I had been separating the "spiritual" parts of Advent from the "material" parts and feeling torn between the two.

And so I continue to make things. Simply. We read lots of great holiday books. I have a few favorite cookie recipes that I will bake and not try anything new this year. We'll watch holiday movies and light candles and make our own decorations. Slowly. No stressing that the tree HAS to be up by Saturday. Keeping creating materials at-the-ready for whenever we feel the prompt to make. No daily plan of what we are going to do, but a purposeful vision of the atmosphere I want to create.

And I get to do all of this with this little darling by my side. The sweetest gift of 2011, for sure.

Healing and Rest

2011-11-06T13:00:00.002-05:00

Henry Michael

born October 11, 2011

I have spent the last 3 1/2 weeks bonding with this sweet boy. And oh is he sweet! A quiet and relaxed baby...the right temperament when you are number 6. This pregnancy was so tiring for my body and so I was committed to a full "babymoon"...all rest and seclusion for the first two weeks of life and then a slow and gentle return to normal activities. Giving myself the time to really heal is what I knew I needed to do, and in the past, that has been easier said than done.

This time though I remembered. I remembered how these small seasons are just that: small seasons. In the bigger timeline of life, this postpartum time is just a blink. And so why not use that time well by focusing on the important...bonding with a baby and letting myself renew.

Isn't that true with all hard times? That we need to remember that it's just season? A short season in light of eternity? We need to know that we can endure these times by His grace because it's not the final word.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. II Corinthians 4:17

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

Glory is coming. Isn't that a comforting promise?

Trusting in the Small Things

2011-10-10T15:56:00.005-05:00

So often we seem to think about "trusting God" as something we must learn and do with the big stuff of life... careers, educational choices, finances, health, homes, etc...those weighty lifestyle decisions that drive us to Scripture, to asking for prayer, to recognizing our desperate need for Him.

But do we walk by faith and trust Him in the daily, small things? Trusting God when we are running late and the traffic light is red? When the dishwasher breaks? When we can't get our little daily to-do list checked off? When the grocery store is chaotic and doesn't have what we need? When juice is spilled, plates are broken, and chores are half-done?

I am really learning that to walk by faith and to walk in a growing, intimate trust and fellowship with Him is to be simply lived out in the dailiness. Day by day, choice by choice, one act of trust followed by another. Choosing to slow down and trust Him when I drive. Choosing to look to Him for peace in the check-out line. Choosing to breathe and know His love when the house seems to be falling apart around me.

These daily challenges are the moments when our faith is refined, tested, and built. These are the hidden opportunities for real, living, breathing faith that honors the Lord and blesses those in our midst. We are the model of walking with Jesus that our dear children are watching.

As I sit here at home waiting for this baby to arrive, it's easy to move from "Zen mama" to "nesting Nazi" in a very short period of time! I am amazed at how often I move from a place of peace and trust to being an anxious, wrought-up woman. I am continually learning to keep my thoughts centered on Him and His Sovereign care and goodness, repenting quickly, and seeking grace and forgiveness from Him and others when I blow it. It's a daily, moment-by moment living out of my faith during this time of transition and change for our family.

These lessons are so rich and good. I want my life to be characterized by an active trust in the Lord in matters great and small. In the mundane and in the weighty. In all things.

Day in and day out, step-by-step, little choice by little choice.

image credit

:: Right Now ::

2011-10-01T12:34:00.004-05:00

:: reading this series and knitting a kicking bag ::

:: drinking green smoothies every day ::

:: using my bread machine to make WHO bread ::

:: inspired to make DIY cupcake kits for some mamas ::

:: putting together a Postpartum Kit for me ::

Autumn Here

2011-09-29T11:27:00.004-05:00

:: baking pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie french toast::

:: making quick applesauce with local apples ::

:: fall linens and pumpkin cream cheese with bagels ::

:: wearing burlap Toms ::

:: putting together a nature table ::

:: creating gifts for friends ::

The Home Stretch

2011-09-24T17:43:00.003-05:00

I am 3 weeks away from my due date. I am feeling swollen, heavy, breathless, weary. It's the final days until the baby finish-line.

Little onesies and sleepers are washed.

A few packs of diapers.

A handful of blankets and burp-cloths.

God's sustaining grace for my body and soul and spirit.

That's all we really need.

Advice from the Aged

2011-08-30T09:27:00.006-05:00

When we were in Dallas in July for the funeral of my mother-in-law, we had a few days of being surrounded by "elders"...older men and women in their late sixties, seventies and eighties. We don't have that opportunity very often...we seem to live in a younger community and most of our church congregation is middle-aged. As I watched the aged couples talk and laugh and reminisce, I thought, "Mike and I will be them before we know it." It really brought to reality how fast and fleeting this life goes by, and that these older families probably felt like they just were raising their own children.

As I looked down at my rounded belly, carrying the life of a sixth child, I felt so amazingly blessed. Blessed to be alive and well and able to still carry life in my womb and give birth to babies. I get another opportunity to nurse and cuddle a newborn. I am able to be healthy enough to raise an exuberant household of children...cooking, nurturing, training, creating, inspiring, teaching, leading, reading, motivating...this is the stuff that my days are made of.

This is the busy season of life and how rich and privileged I am!

Since that trip, I have felt so deeply that I am not to wish away these mothering days...looking for the next season of life. My call is to embrace the Here and Now...today is the Gift I have been given. May I be content and live this stage to the widest and fullest and brightest!

One of the older men ...a wise man of God who taught seminary for many years and now takes care of his wife in a retirement home while also pastoring the others who live there...visited with Mike and I at the reception after the funeral. Mike thought that this Doctor would admonish him to "go to the world", to "focus on ministry", to "be busy for the Lord". But instead, he looked tenderly yet firmly at Mike and told him, "Just bloom where you are planted" and then to me, he said, "Aimee, motherhood suits you. Keep doing what you are doing!"

Those were life-words to us. An affirmation to us as a couple to be all-here and to be faithful in this place where God has us spiritually, geographically, and seasonally. We felt inspired to be just like this man and his wife...to go to the end of our lives remaining faithful to minister wherever our feet are.

Wise advice. I think we'll take it.

On My Kitchen Counter

2011-08-12T11:17:00.002-05:00

Two purchases just for me this week. Soulemama's newest book...and a vintage Champion juicer from the thrift store for $15.

The book has a recipe for Berry Muffins...and they just made their grand entrance out of my oven. Dense and delicious. And filled with big, beautiful local blueberries.

And with the juicer, I am about to test it out by using some organic frozen berries to make myself a refreshing afternoon sorbet.

What lovely ingredients are sitting on your counter today?

This and That

2011-08-11T05:26:00.006-05:00

I have been quiet in this space. Summer living has been full and I have been very active in doing and haven't been as contemplative as I am in other seasons. It's as if I spend the Winter and Spring pondering and figuring out what my life is to look like and Summer and Fall is spent making those dreams and ideals happen!

Most of my time is spent nesting and homeschooling. We started our learning rhythm again at the end of July (after a not-planned, last-minute trip for a week to Texas...my mother-in-law passed away from cancer). Getting home from that trip and getting into a routine quickly helped us so much. I am amazed how the Lord uses the dailiness and the acts of simple routines to ground us, heal us, steady us, and move us forward in Him.

We are in the midst of a Unit Study on Native Americans. I really love learning alongside my children and my heart is amazed by the beauty, brilliance, and ingenuity of the diverse amount of Native American tribes. We start our morning with breakfast and chores...then jump into our read-aloud time. A few minutes of narration by each child followed by a bit of copywork. We read on the couches, narrate there, and the copywork helps us transition to the kitchen table. Then we read some excerpts from a non-fiction book....either about history, science, or a biographical piece. Sometimes I will turn on a background CD of Native American music and we always end our learning time with a hands-on project. We eat lunch, have "book basket" time (a basket filled with fiction and non-fiction library books on our unit study topic) and then older children have an assigned book for read-alone time.

On the nesting side of my day, I am tackling areas that have been overlooked and under-cleaned. Lots of re-organization, deep cleaning, and simple projects. I put together a gallery wall in our living room which I had been wanting to do for a long time. Old wooden frames gathered from the attic took on a fresh life with some spray paint and new photos. Every day I try to do some sort of project that will enhance our home and bring me the joy that daily creativity offers...whether that is baking some muffins, cleaning out a drawer, organizing a space, or making something.

Just nine weeks until this sweet little newborn son is born. I truly couldn't be happier about that. Oh the smell and sweetness of a new little one...that time is so special and moves by so fast that I want to enjoy every minute of it! Until then, I will busy myself as the mama bird does...adding bits of beauty to my nest, feathering it for comfort, and when the time comes, sit and wait for the wee one to come.

How blessed I am to be in this stage of life. I need not wish it away. It is full and alive and I want to be thankful for and seize every moment!

On Homeschool Planning

2011-07-06T12:49:00.006-05:00

Ever since I went to the SC Homeschool Convention, I have been renewed and excited about planning a new school year. I think it's very important for homeschooling moms to seek out conventions, workshops, and curriculum fairs to give your creative inspiration a boost, to remind you of why you are doing this crazy thing, and ideas that help you tweak your learning journey. I always debate whether or not to go to a convention and question whether it's really worth the time and money, but it is. It really is. I try to remind myself of that every year.

Last year we used My Father's World and it was the right fit for that time in our lives. It's interesting that we think that if we used something one year and it worked well that we should just stick with it and keep going...instead of praying first. The Holy Spirit might have different plans for us! For many different reasons I felt as if that curriculum wasn't the direction we were to take this next year, but really couldn't come up with anything else.

After hearing a workshop on the "joy of unit studies", I was reminded why I loved, loved unit studies so much. Unit studies is the way that our family learned for many years, and I had slowly gotten away from that. As a result, I haven't put as much of my own creativity and heart into our learning adventures and simply relied on MFW to do the work for me. I got into "checklist mode" which is most definitely not the way I like to live.

Then I read this wonderful post on planning and knew it would be the perfect schedule for us. We will do 6 six-week unit studies this year revolving around American History...6 weeks on, 1 week off, 6 weeks on, 1 month off for all year round. I even purchased that handy-dandy Desk Apprentice and feel more organized and creative in our learning than I have in a long time!

Finding what energizes us and brings out the best in us as learners/teachers/facilitators is so important. We are each designed uniquely and must follow the way God has made us individually and not just follow what everyone else is doing. We must get before the Lord and pray, seek, know ourselves, know our children, and walk that path. We must "keep our eyes on our own work" and not compare ourselves to all the other various kinds of homeschool moms out there.

I am a relaxed homeschooler who loves unit studies and delight-directed learning. When I stray too far from that, I lose sight of the journey our family is on and the creative energy drains away. I am going to stick with who I am and what I know and simply seek to trust the Lord at every step.

On Being Thoughtful

2011-07-01T15:01:00.004-05:00

I received this cookbook in the mail today. From an inspirational, encouraging friend. I have been wanting this particular cookbook for a long time now (especially since I have 5 sons!) but there always seems to be other places where my book-money needs to go. To find it delivered today to my front porch? Amazing.

The power of thoughtfulness.

That is something that I am pondering since receiving this gift. Thoughtfulness takes time, a focus on the hearts of others, investment. Thoughtful ones tend to live slower-paced lifestyles. They have carved margin into their lives to make room for relationships as a priority. They don't run from place to place with frantic schedules and over-taxed minds. They usually drink deeply of the beauty of life and consistently fill their own emotional cups so that they have something to offer others.

Thoughtful ones look for simple ways to bless. A kind text. An encouraging verse. A sweet note sent to your Facebook inbox. Running some errands for you when you are post-partum. Buying you and your husband a lovely bottle of wine. Bringing a meal. Offering to babysit. Acknowledging a special day. Giving a handmade something. Recognizing a gifting in you. Asking good questions. Listening well. A hot cup of Starbucks. Saving you a seat.

Taking a few moments to show others thoughtful, intentional care is love in action. It makes the receiver feel known and noticed. We feel special!

Never underestimate the power of small acts of love... for in those, Jesus shines big and beautifully.

Learning from the Birds

2011-06-27T12:54:00.006-05:00

We have some lovely finches who come yearly to our front porch ferns to make their nest, lay eggs, and care for their young. They are a busy team that Mr. and Mrs Finch. They take great care in making a comfortable nest, guard it obsessively (you should hear how upset they start getting when I take my coffee out there!), and as their baby birds hatch, they are fully focused on caring for the young ones with food, care and more protection. Eventually those young ones grow up, leave the nest, and we don't see the Mama and Daddy anymore. They have done their job with attention, care, and singular focus, and now they too leave the nest for other birdie adventures.

"Like a bird that wanders from her nest, so is a man who strays from his home."~Proverbs 27:8

I have been in a process of a slowly deepening realization that I have strayed too far from my nest. I began making small decisions a few years ago to start ministering to others and connecting with others outside of my home and the result is that I spend a lot of my mental energy while I am at home thinking about ministry opportunities outside my home. I am often here in body but absent in spirit.

My mind plans Bible Studies for women. Or I plan monthly sewing times for crafting women to get together. I constantly think about our Home Group and what the needs are there and how we can minister and help others grow. I think of ways I can start ministering in our church's youth group consistently and keep the babies in the nursery every Sunday morning. I find that the very energy that I need to be using to minister to my husband and children is slowly being dripped away towards those outside my home so that there isn't much left for them.

Mama Bird has one focus when those young birdies are in her nest: their survival, nurture, and growth. She doesn't busy herself trying to train other mama birds on how to nest...she must be doing it herself!

One day these sweet ones will begin flying (teen years!) and eventually fly away for good. I will have plenty of time to focus on the ministries outside of my home...to teach and train women to love their husbands and children. For right now, I need to be actively pursuing my ministry at home: nurturing and loving and training and discipling those that are the most vulnerable and the most needy... the young ones entrusted to my stewardship.

Being at home and focusing on my family IS enough. It is. I refuse to live under the unseen pressure from within or without that says I need to focus ministry energy to those outside my home. This will be a battle for me and I must stay in tune with the Holy Spirit's leadings and promptings....where He says to go, I will go. And where He says to stay, I will stay.

And right now He says, "Mama Aimee, stay. Stay present at home."

photo credit

A Prayer for Parents and Children

2011-06-22T07:02:00.002-05:00

"be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul - not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

Colossians 1: 9-12, The Daily Message

Love Makes

2011-06-15T18:02:00.004-05:00

That was one of the themes this past weekend at the Image of the Maker Retreat.

Love Makes.

I really wrestled with that. In the past when my making doesn't seem to be received by others as love, then my heart has gotten easily bruised. Receiving enough bruises makes you not want to give, not want to risk, not want to make love to others. Just keep the making for oneself. Create quietly, guarded, measured. Buy a gift card.

I wept this past weekend in front of my small group of women. Deep tears that pushed their way to the surface despite my best attempts to keep them bottled and hidden. How do you keep making--keep loving-- when you feel as if your making is dismissed, ignored, rejected? This was the question I was wrestling with...when the gifts go seemingly unnoticed, aren't I supposed to stop making?

Jesus gently brought to my mind that there is suffering in art...in giving gifts...in being the Lover-spurned. He reminded me that His daily gifts to me often go unseen, rejected, overlooked, and set-aside. How often do I mumble and complain that I wish He had given me something different or thought that His Design was flawed?

How does ingratitude for His gifts wound the Master Artist's heart?

He makes beautiful things for me daily and yet I choose not to see, to acknowledge, to thank. All things He makes are handmade and heartmade! Yet, do I thank? Oh, I was so humbled.

It seems to me that it is not wrong to desire gratitude from others...He desires gratitude from us...why would we be any different since we are made in His image? Yet our rejection and apathy towards His abundant gifts never causes Jesus to stop making, to stop giving, to stop loving us through His creativity. His gifts are faithful despite our fickle responses.

He cannot help but to love therefore He cannot help but to make....and all that He makes, He gives.

So must I.

I will keep making for others. I will keep loving others through my creativity. I will keep giving.

And I now see His daily gifts with greater humility, greater gratitude, and a deeper recognition of His generous, creative love.

photo credit

Image of the Maker

2011-06-10T09:47:00.005-05:00

I am off on another little trip. I am heading up to North Carolina to a retreat center for an overnight...the theme is "Image of the Maker" and is a time of gathering with other creative women to encourage each other in reflecting Jesus in artful living. Only 75 women will be there...and Ann Voskamp will be speaking.

This time is all-gift and all-grace. I feel humbled and blessed to go and soak it all in...I somehow think I won't want to leave :)

May you find creative inspiration this weekend...to reflect His beauty, creativity and grace in this world and draw others to the Source of all things good.

Thrifty Finds and Creative Inspiration

2011-06-07T09:29:00.005-05:00

vintage berry basket...bought with this in mind

red/white enamel birdfeeder, chenille blanket for backing for vintage sheet quilt, and tall basket for swords and such

materials gathered for a simple necklace

bedside readings

paper doilies + gluestick + moleskine cahier journal = gifts for family just because

The Sea Is Calling!

2011-05-27T08:53:00.004-05:00

My soul is full of longing
For the secret of the sea,
And the heart of the great ocean
Sends a thrilling pulse through me.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's that time of year!

We are heading to Holden Beach, North Carolina, for a week of rest, fun, splashing, reading, playing, exploring...a yearly highlight for our family.

I have Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh...I read it every year when we go. A few other books along with some of these Moleskine journals for sketching or doodling or whatever. Stacks of books for the kids about the ocean, fish, shells, and this fun science book.

Plenty of card games, Settlers of Catan, and I am hoping the home that we are renting has a good jigsaw puzzle or two.

Buckets, big shovels, and some mesh bags for gathering the beauties found on the sand.

It should be a delightful and beautiful time!

Sensitivity to the Seasons

2011-05-23T09:55:00.004-05:00

Don't you find it important to be sensitive to the seasons? Life seasons, that is. Sometimes we are strolling along in life and everything just seems to work and then all of a sudden, those choices just don't fit anymore.

It's easy to keep trying to make something work and figuring out how to make it work and spend hours obsessing over why it isn't working when what we really need is acceptance. Acceptance that the old way of scheduling or doing or cleaning or activities or schooling just isn't where we need to be now.

We must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and His gentle promptings towards change. He may have called us to a certain priority for a season, but is now asking us to relinquish that and to trust Him. His moving us on in new or different areas keeps us dependent on Him and not our ideals, not our lifestyle choices, not on our ways.

We all tend to resist change and like the predictable. We also find it hard to grasp and understand when God calls one way and then another...we tend to think that once He leads us in a direction that it is for life. Our daily walk must be by faith in a Guiding Person, not in a "call". We worry if we change courses about what others will think...do they think I am being unfaithful? Wavering? Disobedient? Hypocritical?

We must never allow fear of people or of failure or of whatever to keep us from the nudgings of the Spirit. In Him we have tremendous freedom and find our total love and acceptance in Him.

I am in a season of a 6th pregnancy...I have been trying to run my life as if I am not pregnant or running a home with many children. I put a lot of mental expectations on myself of what I should be doing...for others, for the Lord, for my community. I feel guilty a lot, I have been irritable and sad, and I resist accepting my current season.

I sense the Lord asking me to pull back. To guard my home, to nest, to be quiet. To give up hospitality for this season, to pare down my commitments, to make my schedule bare-bones. To focus on the needs of myself, this growing baby, my husband and my children. To stay away from negativity, draining situations, and life-stealers. To make Sabbath a priority.

These choices are not easy, but I am choosing to trust Jesus and His heart towards me which is one of gentleness, faithfulness, grace, and peace. I choose to follow Him and not my plan, my goals, my ideals. I choose sensitivity to my season and most of all, to the Holy Spirit who guides and instructs and counsels in the way I should go.

May you too find peace in your current season and in your following of Him.

Puttering Along

2011-05-09T17:57:00.003-05:00

planting some herbs in pots

I find myself "puttering" a lot these days...don't you just love the word puttering?

Cambridge dictionary defines puttering: "to move about without hurrying and in a relaxed and pleasant way."

That is certainly the way I love to spend my time in my home. Quietly moving about...cleaning up here and there...thinking on good things...sprucing up corners...starting new projects...allowing myself to be led by my instincts and desires and less by the "list".

hanging up ferns, flat parsley in pots, gerbera daisies in mason jars

It's just too easy to blow quickly through life without thought, without intention, without slow. We need to give ourselves the gift of time and slow and puttering so that we can enjoy our daily work, pray, ponder, allow creative ideas to cultivate, or simply let our minds get clear and lie fallow for a bit.

the knitted beginnings of a baby surprise jacket

These days of growing a baby can leave my emotions a bit frayed and easily bruised...I have found that making pockets of time to putter give me moments to find peace, to heal, to calm. To center myself and not hurt those that I love with rash words or tones. To give myself some space and to allow my hands to create small spots of order and beauty...these quotidian household movements help me be healthy.

How about you?

Do you give yourself permission to putter?

Do you create small pockets of puttering in your day?

Local Strawberry Love

2011-05-03T17:00:00.005-05:00

"Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings

reaching heavenward." ~Terri Guillemets

Early Easter Morning

2011-04-24T05:15:00.003-05:00

It's early on Resurrection Sunday. I was tossing and turning in bed...wondering if pregnancy is causing one of those frustrating nights of insomnia. When the clock finally turned to 5am, I decided to get up.

I puttered quietly around the home...sweeping up the crumbs from last night's dinner...putting a wet load of laundry into the dryer...putting small treats in baskets in the middle of the dining room table...refreshing the pillows on couches...plucking up stray small pieces of toys.

After looking around and declaring it "good", I sat on the couch with my Bible.

I turned to John 20 and saw that "on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb."

I smiled as I too am up early before dark on the first day of the week...Mary was probably going there because she was grieving and stressed and sleep wouldn't stay. She probably felt a darkness of soul that mirrored the darkness of that early morning hour.

But the stone had been rolled away. Anxiety increased (don't we always think the worst must have happened?!)...has his body been moved or stolen? Frantic running around to find other disciples to tell. No answers. Sobbing and weeping.

Jesus found her there. In her messy weeping and sadness and fear. He asked about her tears that early morning and listened to her heart. He called her name: "Mary!" And she believed!

I find it precious this morning that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who had JUST conquered all of sin and death and evil and darkness quietly approached a weeping woman in distress and comforted her with His living presence. No giant fanfare and no running to tell the religious and political authorities, "I told you so!"....He came to His dear friends and offered them Peace.

Grace and Peace and Resurrection Presence to you this Easter morning...He sees you and also is calling your precious name!

Living Quietly

2011-04-22T11:18:00.002-05:00

"to make it your ambition and definitely endeavor to live quietly and peacefully, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we charged you,"

I Thessalonians 4:11 (Amplified)

I have been thinking a lot about living quietly and peacefully.

What does that look like?

I am trying to live it out right now by staying at home as much as possible, focusing on building relationships of love and respect with my husband and children, turning off the TV, and keeping out as much "noise" from the world as possible.

I am seeking (and often failing!) to live in trust and faith in the Lord even when I don't feel great or our money is tight or plans don't work out...to be at peace in my relationship with Him and others...forgiving quickly when I am hurt and asking forgiveness when I have hurt others.

I am trying to "mind my own affairs" and not other people's. Choosing to look to my own vision of what I know the Lord is calling me to do in this season of life. Home management, homeschooling, and also hospitality when I feel able.

"Working with my hands"...cleaning and simplifying my home. Sewing and simple crafting. Cooking good food. A plan to go strawberry picking and make freezer jam. I also hope to plant some basic herbs and some pots of Roma tomatoes.

It's encouraging to think that God is calling us to simplicity and peace...that his tender commands bring us life and health and wholeness. We are the ones who choose the complicated and over-extended lives...finding these simple principles of living makes our days deliberate, focused and do-able...not to mention a greater sense of peace and joy too.

Gentle Mornings

2011-04-21T07:45:00.003-05:00

Ahhh, mornings.

Good organic coffee in vintage yellow mug.

Note cards for writing down lists and chores.

A library book for inspiration.

Computer.

Window open to let in cool breeze.

It feels good to feel good again!

Little Boys' Summer Wardrobe

2011-04-18T12:55:00.004-05:00

I have been contemplating how to make my young boys' summer uniforms simple. Summertime is so hot here and the weather gets so humid, that cotton t-shirts and shorts seem to be the most logical. Yet I do get tired of screen-printed characters and boring stripes that seem to be the only choices in most stores.

I was re-perusing The Creative Family this morning and found the solution for my boy-clothing dilemma:

Freezer Paper Stenciling!

I plan on buying each boy a package of plain Hanes white t-shirts and paint each one with a colorful silhouette of something that they love (I am sure that will include frogs, lizards, snakes or other creepy things!)

Add to that some inexpensive solid-colored knit shorts and I think we are set for summer!

Recipes for Spring Homeschooling

2011-04-18T12:17:00.007-05:00

This is my favorite time of year to homeschool. The winter doldrums and disillusions have faded and in its place is the beauty and energy and warmth of Spring! This is the time that I don't cling tightly to "the plan" because when you have sunny skies, low humidity, and mid-70's, you head outside!

Here is our family's annual Spring Homeschooling recipe:

1 quilt

An assortment of pillows

5 field guides

1-2 butterfly nets

Magnifying Glass

Journals for whoever wants them

Pencils

James Herriot's Treasury for Children

As many kids as you have

Head outside on an perfect-weather-day. Set up quilt and pillows in any way you want. Grab some simple field guides....trees, caterpillars, bugs/spiders, butterflies, birds, wildflowers for reference. Lay around with your children looking for whatever you can find...birds in the trees, butterflies flitting, little buggies creeping through the grass (that's when a Magnifying Glass is nice!). Draw what you see in your journal...but only if you feel like it. Chase butterflies and hope to catch one. Flop back down and listen to Mama read some of James Herriot's wonderful animal stories. Enjoy the sun and the breeze. Laugh, tickle, watch clouds. Wonder at creation!

Similar One -Ingredient Recipes:

Check out a local State Park
Hike a Trail
Visit a local farm
Go Biking
Go Camping
Go Fishing
Walk around your city
Plant something

Hope these recipes will help keep your homeschooling fresh and invigorating...nurturing good health and relationships too!

Off to Camp!

2011-04-06T17:04:00.003-05:00

My 3rd child is turning 8 on Friday so what better way to celebrate than to head down to the beach and camp for three nights? The weather is going to be upper 70's...blissful! And Hunting Island is so beautiful and has so many fun things to do.

Bike riding.

Feeding deer.

Catching sea animals.

Climbing the lighthouse.

Fishing.

Nature Center.

Lowcountry Boil.

Sand.

More sand.

It's going to be a fabulous time!

image by sfgirlbybay

Books to Re-read

2011-04-03T18:41:00.003-05:00

Do you have books that you read regularly? Yearly? Again and Again?

I have some books that seem to be like dear friends...I always return to those that inspire, encourage, and build me up in the vision of home and family.

Here is my growing list:

Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss

For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

For the Family's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer

Margin by Dr. Richard Swenson

A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming

Living More With Less by Doris Janzen Longacre

Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison

Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Do share what books that you find yourself drawn to again and again in your mothering and homemaking journey?

Finding My Mothering Heart Again

2011-04-01T15:24:00.004-05:00

After many years of giving and sacrificing for my young ones, I hit a season of burnout. The non-stop years of tending little ones took its toll on my mind, emotions and spirit and I found myself in a place of neglect on many levels. It took me about a year or so to fully recover from that time, and it's a place I never want to revisit.

Unfortunately now, I can find myself creating emotional distance between myself and my children. Fearing that getting to close and serving them well will lead me down a dark road again. I know that's not true in my head...the truth about burnout was my pride that I could do it all, that I didn't need help, and that God would support and provide strength for my independent ways. I now have my life ordered in such a way that I have margin, help from others, and consistent time set aside for quiet planning and focus.

However, I have gotten lazy in my mothering this past year. Even though I am with my children every day homeschooling and living life together, I know I am often distracted in mind and heart. I know that unconsciously I have been viewing my children as an interruption to my life and my goals and can feel the creeping in of resentment when they seem too "needy".

I was saddened by this state-of-heart and knew that the Lord has been calling me to refocus and find my mothering heart again. It dimmed and was bruised during the season of burnout. I do well at intentional homemaking, but mothering? Oh, that relational giving and sacrifice can feel so hard and overwhelming to me.

So I decided to see if some other women would want to get together to discuss these mothering issues. It has resulted in getting together with a handful of other moms on Thursday nights to discuss Sally Clarkson's book Mission of Motherhood (and Sally's blog posts on mothering this past month have been absolutely amazing and encouraging! as have been Tonia's too!)

My heart is gently being led back to the heart of mothering that I once held so dear. And God is healing me in such a way that I know I can trust Him and His Sovereign Goodness as I embrace a call to servant motherhood. I am beginning to think intentionally again as to how I can really love my children in the small and simple. Modeling care, compassion, and service just as Jesus did with his disciples.

Tonight it begins with our Friday Family Movie Night. Normally the children watch a movie on their own and Mike and I retreat to our bedroom. But tonight we will watch a family movie together...and I am putting together a tray with popcorn put in these cool bags, boxed movie-theater-style candies, and IBC Root Beer bottles (with cool straws!) for everyone.

It's a small act of love that I know will thrill my children and it opens up my heart wider towards them and to enjoy their pleasure.

related:

"making the everyday beautiful"

order and routine: making straight paths for peace part 2

the sacrifice of love

:: Right Now ::

2011-03-14T20:00:00.003-05:00

Right now, I am...

:: feeling nauseous because I am expecting baby #6!

:: grieving the loss of our dog Daisy...she was hit by a car last week and we are so sad.

:: reading Fanny Flagg novels to keep my mind off of how sick and sad I feel.

:: thanking God for new little life, daily graces, and that He sustains in grief and sickness.

:: dreaming of summer and learning to can tomatoes and fruit jams...this book inspires me.

:: loving sending and receiving letters with some of you...it's a real treat!

:: enjoying looking for inspiration for simple Easter decorations.

:: looking ahead 11 days to when I will spend a weekend in Asheville with special friends!

photo by aussiegall

Rebooting Home{schooling}

2011-02-17T09:06:00.005-05:00

It's that slump time of year. That time when the curriculum or methods or "plan" tends to feel stifling or dry or boring.

We are tempted to go spend some money on new books or switch gears in our schedule or question our particular philosophy of learning at home. Disillusionment can set in, and in that place we tend to make some knee-jerk reactions out of fear or frustration.

Maybe instead, we just need to reboot the atmosphere of our home.

This may mean a few weeks set aside to declutter. Toss old papers, dust bookshelves, sharpen pencils, throw out dried-up markers. Maybe rearranging posters or furniture or bookshelves in our learning spaces. Clean up and clear out.

This may mean starting off the morning with a focus on beauty instead of production. Music playing while chores are being done. Siblings helping siblings with work instead of everyone going off in their own directions. Offering a homemade snack during learning times and not running through the morning in "check off the list" mode. Stopping and savoring curious moments and not allowing the clock to drive us.

I love how Ann says, "Life is not an emergency"....we would do well to realize that the home education of our children is not an emergency; it is a beautiful lifestyle of learning to be enjoyed and unhurried.

Rebooting our home also means rebooting ourselves. Making sure we as mothers are getting enough sleep, good food, creative outlets, meaningful conversations, mental stimulation, laughter, exercise, and time with the Lord. We need to be over-flowers of peace and joy and love...we cannot overflow if we are not taking the time to be filled. When we aren't being filled we set a tone of unhappiness and ungratefulness in our homes.

So if you are feeling as I do right now...in a bit of a homeschooling rut...maybe we could try and start right where we are... right here, right now. Small steps to improve our educational atmosphere with beauty, simplicity, and cheerful attitudes.

image by on bradstreet

Quilt Inspiration

2011-02-03T15:57:00.003-05:00

When I sew, I usually like quick projects. I like seeing the start-to-finish process come together in just a few days...in a life that has little "closure", completed sewing projects just makes me feel good. So quilting just usually isn't my thing.

I have made small quilted items like a few table runners and my Quilted List Taker. I have a completed baby quilt too. Right now I have a Colorbrick Quilt top that is now basted with pins, batting and backing...just waiting on me to receive a walking foot in order to quilt it.

The quilting process is not a quick one though. Fabric choices, layout, piecing, basting, quilting, binding...it takes a while. I have to really really love the fabric and the pattern in order for me to get inspired enough to tackle that kind of project.

It just so happened that I ran across two different quilt tutorials that caught my eye and made me get really excited. And the fabric choices for both of these were so much fun...pre-cut strips in what is called a "Jelly Roll" of all kinds of beautiful fabrics from a single collection.

For the Birdie Stitches Quilt, I am using the exact same fabrics as the designer is...Moda Sunkissed...I love all those happy Springtime colors!

For the Postage Stamp Quilt, I am using the Moda Bliss Jelly Roll....I have loved these fabrics ever since they came out and have been dying to do something with them!

Oh wow, I feel like I have entered Fabric Heaven!

What big creative projects are you being inspired by?

February Manifesto

2011-01-31T19:07:00.005-05:00

Well tomorrow begins what I call "the longest month of the year"... everyone has cabin fever, the weather drones on in its chill, and sickness always seems to invade our bodies.

This February I vow to:

get outside in nature with my children
practice gratitude daily for all the good and gracious gifts
drink a green smoothie every day

I hope having these simple goals will bring mental, spiritual and physical health to me and to my family. Instead of dread, I want to meet the challenge that-is-February with joy and good things.

How about you?

photo by {JooJoo}

Curious Ladies Aid Society

2011-01-28T12:01:00.002-05:00

Yes I am joining Tonia's lovely letter-writing group.

Don't you just love receiving hand-written letters and seeing the person's handwriting and hearing their hearts spilled out in real sentences and not in texted fragments??

When I receive a letter (which is very rare), I like to get a favorite drink, sit on the porch or in my bedroom chair, and savor every word. Dark chocolate with sea salt may or may not be involved.

And I re-read that letter over and over and over again. It almost feels new every time. I even seem to read things that I didn't really notice the first time around. It's even fun to find that letter again 6 months later and read it again...

When I lived in Eastern Europe for 2 years we didn't have email. I wrote tons and tons of lengthy letters almost daily. It was such a joy for me and when I received a dear friend's response I would live on a high for days!

We underestimate the power of words and encouragement. Words have the power to build up, to lighten, to give hope, to offer comfort, to make laugh, to make the reader feel known and loved.

We all could a whole bunch more of feeling known and loved and encouraged and cared for, right?

So pick up your favorite writing utensil, grab some paper or a notecard, and offer your words to a friend. If any of you would like to begin a pen-pal relationship of sorts with me, do email me your address and I'll send you mine.

"...women's letters talk. They are monologues, dialogues, diatribes: They are voices fixed on paper. Like women talking over the back fence, the telephone, the breakfast plates, or the business lunch, women's letters rarely just exchange information. Instead they tell stories; they tell secrets; they shout and scold,...whisper and worry, console and advise, gossip and argue, compete and compare. And along the way, they - usually without meaning to - write history."

~from Women's Letters: America from the Revolutionary War to the Present

Happy Writing!

Slow Crafting

2011-01-27T15:16:00.005-05:00

I have not had much energy for crafting this month. It has come in slow, small spurts. A little here, a little there. I have determined not to be discouraged if all I have is 10-15 minutes a day. All those minutes do add up and bit by bit, a project can be completed!

This felt heart wreath was fun project and came in under $10.

This Quilted List Taker was fun as well as functional! I had been wanting to have a pretty notebook that would lay flat on my counter as I count the daily gratitudes of grace-gifts in my life. This turned out to be cheery and perfect!

I still have a scarf on my knitting needles that I am hoping to complete soon...here a little, there a little. I am learning to take the seemingly small moments and create something. If I wait for the "perfect" timing, then I will be waiting a long time! I am just trying to jump in where I am and with the time I have in this busy season of young children. And it's working!

An Overnight

2011-01-22T14:42:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I am chugging right along doing what I do... loving and serving my husband and children, teaching, running the home, serving where I can, snippets of creativity, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, I hit a wall of tired.

That happened about a week or so ago. Deep, achy tired swept through my mind and body. Many different reasons why...holiday-fatigue, early risings, a death of a high school friend, and flu-recovery. My head was hurting on and off for days...my body was heavy...my emotions running thin.

These are the gracious warning signs that I need to take care.

My husband and I discussed where I was and my need for extended sleep and some quiet to process. My life is lived in constant interruption and I start to feel the frazzle from that and the short-term memory always short-circuits.

So on Thursday, Mike tracked down a night for me at a nice local hotel for $54 on Hotwire. By Friday afternoon, my bags were packed and I was on my way! I prayed immediately that God would allow me to receive this time and His care and not feel guilty or selfish or irresponsible.

I arrived...and rested.

Then I listened to my old CD of Twila Paris's Sanctuary and knit.

Dinner and a leisurely browse at Barnes and Noble.

Back to the hotel to lotion up and pamper my long-neglected hands and feet.

And then crawled into a big, comfortable bed with clean sheets, lots of pillows, and a few cookbooks and sewing books.

Sleep! I turned out the light at 9:15pm (awakened twice to adjust the temperature) and slept until 9am.

Coffee and fruit downstairs along with an English muffin with butter and jelly.

Went to the room for a long, hot shower and got dressed slowly and without pressure.

Several hours of praying, reading One Thousand Gifts, journaling, searching the Word. Refilling and refueling and refreshing.

Called downstairs and got a late check-out time (a must!)

Packed up and left. Headed to an office supply store for new pens, fresh note cards, and writing pads. A browse through Michael's for a box to hold playdough supplies. A stroll through Pier 1. Late lunch at Panera.

I received an email invitation from my husband to come home at 5pm today for hamburgers and potatoes, and Cranberry Ginger Ale. Oh how he loves me well!

Women, take care. Listen to your body and your emotions and when they nudge and moan, give them attention. Taking time to nourish and strengthen our minds and bodies and emotions and spirit gives us more to give to others.

Acknowledge weakness, eschew martyrdom, and find what you need to be well.

photo by noodle and lou

What I Am Reading

2011-01-19T15:14:00.003-05:00

It arrived a little while ago.

The big stack of cookbooks and biographies and sewing books will be set aside.

The magazines may get dusty.

If you haven't yet, do pick up one of your own.

I just know it's going to be good.

Loving him well

2011-01-05T19:35:00.003-05:00

One of my biggest goals for 2011 came to me so simply and gently. Over the final months of 2010, it's as if the Lord nudged my heart with a sweet love and tenderness towards my husband. My heart has grown with desire to make it my aim to really love him well this year.

This man of mine has served me and our children tirelessly over the last 14 years...he gives and gives and keeps on giving. I want to be as tender with him as he is with me and am spending my time thinking of meaningful ways to love him within his love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, and touch.

We are getting up at 6am together each morning (started January 1st!) and we are loving that quiet time to talk, pray and get on the same page. It has been so wonderful because we are beginning our day unified and connected to each other instead of how I usually am with him when I am awakened by children: reactive and barky!

I am being intentional to tell him the ways I am seeing him grow...the character qualities that shine so brightly. I am looking for and noticing the things that he does well and appreciating him verbally for that. I can't believe how much it means to him!

And with touch, I am trying to be more available. I'll leave it at that :). I am also initiating scratching his back which I know he loves and giving him more hugs and kisses (this doesn't come naturally to me at all...touch is almost last on my love language list!)

I am also putting some ideals aside to really seek to bring him pleasure. I am cooking through the Pioneer Woman's cookbook and am enjoying fixing him "man meals" for a change instead of my meal preferences. I am trying to keep the pantry and house stocked with things I think he'll enjoy. I am watching TV shows that he wants to watch instead of demanding my way.

These are small things...nothing elaborate. Just little acts of intentional love and care. I want him to know that HE is my priority (above the children!) and offer him tenderness and unconditional love. I am so doggone selfish, and this is so.good.for.me! I am being so blessed by being a blessing to him and he claims that 2011 is going to be a really great year.

I can't wait!

Finishing Well

2010-12-31T11:53:00.002-05:00

I have spent some time this morning evaluating 2010.

Did I live true to my values and goals?

Did I follow Jesus?

As I talked to my husband about the year, he encouraged me to get out my journal and write these things down...how did I provide hospitality this year? How did I grow as a homemaker? Did I find time for my hobbies? What trips did we take? Did I bear fruit? Did I obey the promptings of the Spirit?

Taking a soul-inventory is so good and refreshing. I am amazed at the faithfulness of God in my life and the grace that shows up day by day, moment by moment. Staying focused is how I would describe 2010 for me. I stayed very true to my vision for being a wife, mother, and child of God...not perfect, bumps along the way, but overall I think I have finished the year well.

And 2011?

This is my Year of Presence. My heart yearns to practice the Presence of Jesus daily...to turn quickly to Him in stress, in soul-tumult, in praise for the good, in thankfulness, in joy...in all things. I want my default-setting to be dependence/trust in Jesus...not anger or fear or dismay.

Jesus is to be my First Thought not my afterthought.

And I want to give Presence to others. My time to my husband...loving and serving him well. My undistracted attention to my children. An open, available heart to my friends...and really being there for them and with them. I want to stop my hoarding mindset when it comes to availability...and to trust Him that as I give He will keep filling and overflowing His Presence in and through me.

This will most certainly touch on the deeper, selfish places of my heart.

But what is life except He and His People?

image by mmlolek

When Advent Turns Messy

2010-12-22T13:29:00.003-05:00

I would have never thought just a week ago that my children and I were on the verge of entering into a very painful flu illness. I am now on day 4 of laying on my Sealy Posturepedic surrounded by unopened Amazon and Etsy boxes, mounds of dirty tissues, bigger mounds of clean laundry, bits of trash and mail, scattered books...it's a messy place, a dirty place.

It reminds me of how Jesus came into this world. Not into a clean and sterile birthing room...not into a beautiful, luxurious bedroom...into a dirty stable with the messiness of animals and dust and straw and probably some dung too. His entering presence didn't require the perfect place...just an available space.

I looked around my home this morning and saw the chaos and brokenness. Dishes and stains and dust and toys and a dead Christmas tree...nothing is shiny, nothing is cute...all looks dull and dreary and done. I thought, "Really? This is what this home will be like come Christmas?"

Yet immediately I was comforted by the gift of His Presence...that He delights to enter these kinds of homes, these kinds of relationships, these kinds of sicknesses. Brokenness is His business. He binds the brokenhearted, sets free prisoners, heals the sick, shines light into darkness, restores the years the locusts have eaten...He just asks me to be willing...to be available to Him.

And what better way to be available to Him than when I am still right now...no frantic rushing, no more baking, no more crafting, no more cooking...nothing. All I have to give is me and all He wants to give is Him.

So we give each other ourselves....PRESENCE. All the money spent on the presents can't touch the beauty of Real Presence. May this be our Advent Reality this year.

December: Quiet Dailiness {9}

2010-12-20T10:30:00.003-05:00

bunches of dishes washed after big cook day

watched Babies via Netflix and Artois the Goat via Hulu

under-the-weather

December: Quiet Dailiness {8}

2010-12-18T10:16:00.003-05:00

Luke playing with vintage Little People

the makings of peppermint bark

some lovely wines from Trader Joe's

children happy to make paper chains

December: Quiet Dailiness {7}

2010-12-17T09:34:00.003-05:00

my 7 year old son got inspired

easy, quick cards to tag onto teachers' gifts

happy mama-heart to receive child's handmade gift

materials ready-to-go for peppermint wreath

December: Quiet Dailiness {6}

2010-12-16T13:05:00.003-05:00

munching on White Chocolate Chex Mix

oldest son is making cards for friends

enjoying this delicious spice rub from a friend

picking up the knitting needles again to finish

December: Quiet Dailiness {5}

2010-12-15T18:17:00.004-05:00

a fun gift arrived in the mail from a friend

enjoying a new free organizer

finishing handmade Christmas cards

stringing cranberries and popcorn

December : Quiet Dailiness {4}

2010-12-13T17:03:00.004-05:00

eating lots of oranges and clementines

a warm loaf of Christmas Bread

the yearly batch of snickerdoodles

a pot of delicious homemade tomato-basil soup

December : Quiet Dailiness {3}

2010-12-12T18:28:00.004-05:00

holiday flannel pillowcases

question jars for friends

small pillar candles in jars with epsom salt

baskets of warmth for our cold windy days

December : Quiet Dailiness {2}

2010-12-09T14:57:00.004-05:00

sewing tree pins

playing chess with my 12 year old Sam

daily fires...S.C. highs in the low 40's

reading Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury over and again

early mornings with Jesus, coffee with eggnog, and wise words

December : Quiet Dailiness

2010-12-07T08:25:00.004-05:00

giving eggs away

all-natural hot chocolate

baking my favorite cookies

celebrating Him

Quieting the Holiday Frenzy

2010-11-30T21:12:00.003-05:00

Do you feel it? The tug and the pull to spend more and more? Or the tug and the pull to make, bake, create, decorate? The endless list of things that one could attempt during the month of December is overwhelming.

This is the time to get quiet. To push back the clamoring, cultural noise. To stop searching for the "perfect" traditions. To remove our eyes as to what our neighbor is doing.

And then, listen.

Listen to what the Babe is wanting to give us for Christmas.

He offers Rest.

He gives Grace.

He promises Peace and Life and Joy.

He holds out His hands (scarred and all) to give Love. Unconditional Love.

Oh, it's so easy for me to get heart-sidetracked right now. To get consumed with consumption instead of consumed with Compassion. To buy more instead of give more...

I need to cease striving and get still and listen...

Listen to what the Babe is wanting me to give for Christmas.

I really desire to hear His daily will for me...to look for Jesus in unexpected places...to serve when He prompts...to give presence to others...to keep offering myself...my truest heart... to that sweet Babe in the manger.

Lord, may it be so.

Packin' It Up

2010-11-19T12:18:00.008-05:00

We are leaving to head to Dallas, Texas, to visit family for a week. I am really trying to keep the packing simple and streamlined. I also am keeping in mind the amount of money that it costs when you drive 16 hours...fast-food, snacks, hotel, gas...it all adds up.

Since it seems that there will be a variety of weather while we are there, I made a list for each child that includes:

4 long-sleeved shirts
3 pants
2 short-sleeved shirts
fleece
2 pajamas
socks/undies
one pair of shoes

We will do laundry once or twice while we are there so I hope that each long-sleeved shirt will get worn twice.

I gave myself a few more options, but really only packed things that would mix and match well and layers.

In order to cut costs on food while traveling, I have packed three reusable grocery bags with snacks and the fixings for sandwiches. I also purchased four Lunchables for the kids...not healthy, but fun for them and cheaper than a Kids' Meal!

I also put together a bin filled with paper-products and a tablecloth...our goal is to use Rest Areas instead of gas stations/fast-food restaurants as stopping places. We can use the restroom, eat outside at a table, and have plenty of room for the kids to run and get out the energy! Since I use cloth-everything at home, I don't feel bad about using some disposable products to make our trip easier.

We don't ever drink soft drinks at home but like the occasional one when we are out and about and traveling. Instead of paying the crazy prices of fast-food/gas stations, we are bringing along a small cooler of ice and a two 2-liters. I got a great BOGO deal on Honest Kids Organic Juice boxes a few weeks ago and have those ready for the kids.

I hope that these small, intentional choices will help us use our time and money wisely and lend to healthier on-the-road dining experiences. I already feel better knowing that I am setting the tone for our travel and not allowing the restaurant chains to dictate our diet and our time and our budget.

And now I am off to find some fun travel games for kids and put together a fun travel bag for each of them!

Scarf Tying

2010-11-17T13:34:00.003-05:00

My daughter Katie and I hosted an American Girl Club today for 10 girls and highlighted Josefina...a historic fictional character who lived in the 1820's in New Mexico. She wears a "robozo" (a long beautiful Mexican scarf) and so Katie and I had the girls bring scarves of their own to learn some new tying techniques.

This post was my initial inspiration to do this with the girls, and then I enjoyed taking some time to hunt down some simple scarf-tying ideas. This was so much fun! Who knew there are so many ways to tie a scarf and that you and your daughter could have a blast trying something new?

Here is the video that we ended up loving the most... followed by this one as a close second. Target has all kinds of pretty yet simple scarves that are affordable and fun. I have picked out a golden colored scarf that I not-so-subtly hinted at my husband that I would find to be a perfect stocking stuffer :)

And of course, you know my love of thrift so I will enjoy checking out my local resale shops to what kind of lovelies I can pick up and even pass on as gifts to other women who need a touch of beauty and care in their lives.

Enjoy tying one on!

I Love Blogs (and the women behind them!)

2010-11-12T09:58:00.005-05:00

You know I go through seasons when I need to "unplug" and not spend as much time online. I get overstimulated or over-inspired or get a general sense of mind-distraction from being truly present in my home. But you know what? When it's all said and done, I really do love blogs. Rather, the women behind the blogs!

Let's be honest. I get lonely and need the encouragement of other women to keep going, keep mothering, keep loving, keep cooking, keep serving, keep praying, keep reading the Word, keep looking at Jesus, keep being creative. I love the beauty and the faith and the life that I find in other women's struggles, triumphs, creativity, ideas, and pursuits.

I was feeling rather blue this morning and in a heart-place of feeling like no one really gets me...that weird feeling of being misunderstood or alone or whatever. Then I popped online and read the heart of my dear friend Andrea and it was as if I was sitting with a kindred spirit, hearing her heart, valuing it, and comforted by our similar ideals. I had just been wrestling with thoughts that maybe I make too big a deal about the importance of homemaking and creating an environment of beauty and life and peace and joy...but as I looked around, I was made strong again.

Thank you lovely blog-women for being a part of my journey. Using your words and perspectives and ponderings have lifted and strengthened so many. Your voice matters. My life has been forever challenged and changed by the thoughts and ideas and creativity that I have experienced in this virtual-yet-real world for the past 5 years.

I am just happy and humbled to be here.

What I Wore Wednesday

2010-11-03T13:20:00.005-05:00

I only remembered to take photos of what I wore for three days this past week...
I just have others things to do :)

Thursday:

Mocha Club t-shirt

Beaded Necklace: Hand Picked

Skirt: Abercrombie and Fitch (thrift store!)

Flops: Rainbows

Tuesday:

White long-sleeved T shirt: Target (7 years ago)

Blue cardigan: Target tags still on from Goodwill

Black knit pants: Target

Tennis shoes: Target

Posy Pin on sweater: Pleated Poppy

**I actually received this through the inCourage Dayspring shop...I got a $30 gift certificate for sponsoring another Compassion child! I had been wanting one of these posy pins and couldn't believe it when I saw it in their shop!**

Aren't they adorable?

Today:

Green cashmere sweater: Old Navy

Brown cardigan: Target

White ruffled tank: Old Navy

Necklace: Lisa Leonard

Posy Pin: Pleated Poppy

Jeans: Old Navy (thrift store!)

Brown flats with bows: Target (like 3 years ago!)

This experiment has showed me that I spend way too much time and resources at Target!! :)

Why I Hold My Toddler To Sleep

2010-11-01T20:17:00.004-05:00

Our home is a lively place. Every day is filled with energy, activity, and noise. It is difficult to find "pockets of calm" in my day. I am sensitive by nature...sensitive to lighting, noise, environment...too much stimulation leaves me irritated and over-done. I take minutes here and there to steal away to my bathroom to breathe...or I duck outside to sit with the chickens and think...or quietly find my way to a front porch rocker to just *be*.

The sweetest "pocket of calm" that I have found is the tender moments of holding my 15-month-old boy as he falls asleep. Every afternoon and every evening I carry him to his room and we sit in the comfy red chair together. I cuddle him close, and as he contentedly sucks on his pacifier, he falls asleep. It takes him only a few moments, but I stay holding him long after he enters dreamland.

The other children know to be quiet and to not interrupt. They mostly do well at obeying this request. The quiet is not only for the baby's sake but also for mine.

I use these moments to be still. To stop the harried nature that I fall into. To take time to love and nurture a little one who still needs skin-to-skin connection with his mama. It brings out gentleness and nurture in me...and I could always use more of that. I calm down.

The calm atmosphere leads me to the Calm.
The One who stills storms.
The Comforter.
The Peace.

I pray. Nothing specific...wherever the mind and Spirit lead. I praise. I lift up friends to Him...always with a prayer that they too will be quieted like a weaned child (Psalm 131:2) and be comforted (II Corinthians 1:4) and be at peace (John 14:27).

Too often in our frantic lives we run through our days at breakneck speeds and miss opportunities for stopping, pausing, finding the Calm...Jesus.

May we each have the grace to take every daily opportunity... whether obvious or obscure...to pause, to praise, to pray...to be at Peace and with Peace and for Peace.

What I Wore Wednesday: Simple Comfort Edition

2010-10-27T08:48:00.004-05:00

Okay, I think that the What I Wore Wednesday thing is just plain old fun. I have two (in real life!) friends who have been doing this weekly, and at first I thought, "what??" Then it became really fun to see it each week and to follow the links to see what other REAL WOMEN wear...not the ones in magazines or catalogs or on TV...but the everyday woman who goes to work, teaches, stays at home, whatever.

I took five of the days this week to do it. Most of the time I had a hard time remembering...it's enough for this mama-of-five to take a quick glance in the mirror and make sure my hair is brushed! This little exercise has been good in teaching me to take a few extra moments for myself in the mornings and to dress according to my tastes (simple!) and comfort (cotton!).

(excuse all the weird faces I make in these photos and the poor lighting!)

Thursday:

shirt ~ Kohl's

necklace ~ from Cozumel

skirt ~ American Eagle (thrift store!)

flip-flops ~ Rainbow's

Friday:

Brown Cami: Target

Orange v-neck: Target

Necklace: Superhero

Jeans: Landlubber (thrift store!)

Yellow Wool Flats: Target

Monday:

Shirt: Old Navy

Necklace: Lisa Leonard

Jeans: Levi's (thrift store)

Suede Slippers: Target (thrift store...never been worn!)

Tuesday:

Green Tank: Old Navy

Brown Yoga Skirt: Old Navy Outlet

Flops: Rainbow's

Wednesday:

Ruffled T-Shirt: Target

Skirt: I made it (Simplicity 4881)

What is your typical daily uniform?

Path to Manhood

2010-10-26T19:48:00.004-05:00

My oldest son Sam turned twelve in August. It's crazy to me that my first-born is growing and maturing at such rapid rates....wasn't I just rocking him to sleep in his little room while I sang him worship songs?

As the month of August approached, Mike and I began talking about how to honor Sam and the fact that he is moving away from childhood and into manhood. We have never really believed there is childhood, then a weird time of "teenager" and then adulthood around twenty. We have always wanted to begin the journey of affirming our son's manhood around the time of his turning twelve.

We also realized that we want him to be affirmed by other men too...men in our home group, our church leadership, and even Boy Scouts. It's important for these young men to be in authentic community and be encouraged in their masculinity and leadership from older men.

Good friends of ours also have a son named Sam who was turning twelve too. So Mike paired up with our buddy Tim, and they planned an overnight camping trip for the the four of them to South Mountains State Park in NC. They loaded up backpacks and hiked 1.7 miles in to a primitive camping area near the top of an 80-foot waterfall!

After lots of hiking, exploring, cooking food over the campfire, and a chilly night's sleep, Mike and Tim did a morning devotional with the boys and gave them each a silver compass...a life-long reminder to them to look to the Lord as their guide. Their names were engraved on the top and on the back each had a Scripture verse.

This ended up being a wonderfully meaningful experience and will be a tradition that we will most certainly seek to continue with our other three boys. Building up our boys into men is such a humbling task...may we mamas seek Jesus for the strength to let go, release, and empower our sons to lead and to take risks and to do great things.

We mustn't hold them back, coddle and (s)mother them as they begin the young adulthood years...we need to cut another "umbilical cord" and let them rise up to the tasks and opportunities that God gives them.

I am not saying this is easy, but we must ask for the grace to do this thing...this thing of trusting God with our sons to walk the path to manhood.

Replacement Parts

2010-10-22T14:22:00.008-05:00

We live in a hyper-disposable culture. We are quick to throw things away, quick to buy new, and too easily want the "quick fix". I am always amazed at the amount of appliances that I find at thrift stores and garage sales...if something doesn't work quite right, throw it out and get a new one!

Our parents' or grandparents' generation always tried to fix or mend their broken, worn items. They would never toss out something...you looked for ways to repair it yourself or would ask a friend to fix it or called the repairman. If all actions failed, they would save their money for a new appliance or piece of furniture...they didn't make these decisions lightly!

In our current day, our goods are so cheaply made that they can break or wear much more quickly than in the past. We have a mindset to just toss the broken because we can afford to replace it. I really try to buy quality appliances within my budget, because I hate to see all the waste of thrown-away electronics and can't imagine what it would look like to see all of these things in a landfill!!

Recently the black piece that you see on my Kitchen Aid blender above completely got worn down to the nubs and the motor couldn't turn the blade and mix things anymore. I was very disappointed because I use my blender regularly and really didn't have the money to replace it. What to do? I began to google "Kitchen Aid replacement parts" and up come many websites with the exact part that I needed! Instead of buying a whole new blender, I only had to pay about $6 for the replacement piece! I went ahead and bought two!

Enter our coffee maker. This broke around the same time as the blender. It would leak coffee all over our counters. We tried a few different things to try to fix it, but it kept leaking. So we put it in a stack of other things that we were getting rid of and began to use our coffee press. Making do. But I have people over to our home regularly and love to serve coffee. Instead of buying new, I looked in a few thrift shops for a decent coffeemaker to no avail. We were finally at the point of deciding to buy new. Had we already forgotten the lesson of replacement parts? Mike looked online and found a new basket for the top...for only $12! He ordered it and now we are back in business!

This was a valuable lesson in prudence, frugality, and eco-responsibility. Being intentional in our purchasing decisions and in how we deal with brokenness and waste takes time and effort...but the reward in savings and stewardship is amazing!

An Afternoon Flower

2010-10-21T12:53:00.006-05:00

I was feeling bored and twitchy and not really loving the fact that I have five loads of laundry to deal with. Oh those piles of clean clothes were just begging to be ignored!

So I did what my laundry wanted me to do...leave it be and find something fun and crafty to do! After using portions of this tutorial to make my burlap flowers for my wreath, I have been totally intrigued by fabric flowers (here are nice lists!). Fabric flowers just seem so happy and add a little bit of brightness to a shirt, a cardigan, a purse, or scarf.

After looking around, I decided on this easy-peasy tutorial, and in 10 minutes, I had a lovely little flower to pin to my sweater!

Thanks laundry for begging to be ignored and giving me such a lovely creative afternoon!

Boys, Glorious Boys

2010-10-15T10:28:00.002-05:00

I was gifted this delightful book by a good friend. We actually are going to get to meet the author, Rachel Balducci, for dinner in a few weeks to talk about her book, parenting, and wherever else the conversation leads!

Raising boys is an interesting journey. I am daily assaulted with items that they have turned into guns (anything, and I do mean anything can become a weapon!) Every morning my precious four boys meet me with grunting, yelling, stomping, banging, mouth noises (mimicry of transportation, Jedi, and generalized explosions!) strange smells, and weird daydreams about body parts, explosives, and more weapons...

They hate to bathe. They loathe brushing their teeth. And they don't care about wearing dirty underwear, dirty clothes, dirty anything.

They eat constantly. I can't even think about the amount of food I will have to keep stocked during the teenage years. Just the thought of that makes me want to pray harder for a Costco to come this way.

They bounce and wiggle and jump and kick and flail. The energy is amazing. They try front flips and back flips and side flips. They leap way ahead of us on hiking trails and seek to climb to the highest, most precarious point possible.

Reptiles, snakes, frogs, spiders, grubs...all things creepy are grabbed and brought to me with such incredible joy and fascination as if they had just stumbled upon pure gold.

They love fire. Making fires, putting things in fires, and figuring out what will make the fire pop and sizzle and get bigger. It's the whole explosives fascination thing again.

And the noise, oh the noise!! I send my son Will to preschool three mornings a week so that I can have a small break from the crazy amount of noise that particular child generates. Here is the progress report I received on Wednesday:

I laughed so hard! He needs to work on an "inside voice"?! REALLY!? As soon as we find the secret to teaching an "inside voice" to a vibrant, no-holds-barred 4-year-old boy, I'll let you know.

And as wild and untamed as all of their actions and thoughts are, the genuine tenderness and generosity I see in their hearts is worth all the spills, breaks, and high-volume. The snuggles, kisses, and wildflower bouquets make my heart soar. The "I LOVE YOU MOMMY!" that I hear roar from Will's lungs 25 times a day reminds me how blessed I am.

I really wouldn't have it any other way.

A Fresh Welcome

2010-10-14T15:18:00.007-05:00

bought a nice fresh porch rug

put together this burlap wreath for the door

Come on in, friends!

Fall Creations

2010-10-12T16:30:00.004-05:00

quilted coasters from Colorbrick scraps

quick covers for my faded porch pillows

felt candy corn bunting

How are you sprucing up your nest for fall?

Fall Inspiration

2010-10-10T13:12:00.002-05:00

I am staying busy around here!! Busy doing some deep cleaning (fall weather ENERGIZES me!), getting those ceiling fans dusted, mopping, knocking down cobwebs inside and out, putting down mulch, planting mums, and generalized nest-sprucing.

I have found some fun inspiration out there for some frugal and cute autumn decor. I made the above project after seeing it in Woman's Day magazine....just a branch from the yard, a hot glue gun, and some candy corns!

Other ideas in my queue:

Burlap Wreath
Burlap Bunting
Candy Corn Bunting
Halloween Pillows
Preschooler's Fall Activity
Candy Corn Cookies
Pumpkin Sheet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting (this cake is cooling on a rack in my kitchen right now!

I certainly won't make all of these things, but it sure is fun to get inspired to create again after a long, hot summer.

Isn't Fall delicious in every way!?

Nature Therapy

2010-10-06T17:53:00.005-05:00

Our family enjoyed 4 days of camping up at Oconee State Park this past week. It was bliss! Cool weather, beautiful hikes, roaring campfires, and good people (part of our Home Group from church came too!) I have also spent a lot of time out working in the yard, watching our chickens, and generalized puttering!

I am always amazed at the powerful, therapeutic properties in nature. God's creation soothes the racing mind, calms the anxious heart, and restores worship and awe and gratitude. His goodness and grace and sustainability can be found at every turn...when you don't feel like you can "see" or "hear" God, all you have to do is walk outside!

It's easy to turn to things like "retail therapy" or entertainment or books for relaxation, but none of those compare to the restorative healing that we can find out in nature. People with mental and emotional disorders find great healing when regular time is spent outside. Children with ADD are calmed and centered. The believers in Jesus find renewed faith when in touch with His grandeur and beauty and power.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge."
Psalm 19:1-2

Short Lessons and CM Goodness

2010-09-24T10:19:00.005-05:00

We are cruising in our full-blown Fall schedule right now. Our days have been running incredibly smoothly for the past 2 weeks and it's so nice to feel like we are in a groove. The children are really enjoying our mornings of learning together, and honestly it's really due to one Charlotte Mason principle:

SHORT LESSONS.

There is little to no complaining from my children. They are generally excited and eager to work. We are covering a wide variety of topics and yet still being done with our formal learning within 3 hours. Short lessons are working!

Charlotte Mason was brilliant, I tell you. I have read so many books about her teaching concepts over the years, but realized that I never really implemented them with consistency in order to begin seeing the fruit. Building habits, short lessons and narration really are powerful learning tools. I think that we tend not to believe that they are because these concepts are simple. Really really simple. Easy to implement. Why do we think that teaching/learning has to be hard and arduous in order to be effective?

Keep homeschooling simple a la Charlotte Mason: Talk less. Keep it short. Read good books. Narrate. Get outside. Pay attention. Gaze on beauty. Listen to beautiful music. Make stuff.

Sounds do-able to me.

Mamas, Take Care!

2010-09-12T17:06:00.006-05:00

As all of our schedules begin to get filled with all the hustle and bustle of school, church, and the upcoming holidays, I really feel like we mamas need to have a plan in place as to how to take care of ourselves in the midst of it. I unfortunately tend to wait to take care until I am already run-down and worn out!

Drink:

plenty of water
Emergen-C
Green Smoothies

We need to be well-hydrated and boosting our immune systems! It's easy to begin to rely on caffeine and sugar for bursts of energy, but we need to be wise and seek to get our energy from fruits, green leafies, and vitamins.

Body:

a breakfast with protein
stretching
exercise...even a short walk
a soak in the tub in the evenings with healing salts
bits of dark chocolate stashed in secret places :)

This things make my body feel better. We all need to find those small practices that rebuild and recreate our bodies.

Sleep:

I am seeking to be asleep by 10:30 every evening and up by 6:30 in the morning. You need to do whatever it takes to get the sleep you need. Your body needs rejuvenation and rest...if you continue to push past your God-given limits, sickness will come.

I am also reinstating an hour quiet time for my children in the afternoons. I plan on resting for 20 minutes of that time.

Creative Pursuits:

Daily creativity decreases stress and enhances mood. We all need to figure how to get a few minutes or a few hours regularly for expressing ourselves creatively. It can be as simple as decorating the windowsill above your kitchen sink or carving out an afternoon for sewing or drawing or gardening.

Friendships:

When I get isolated, my mental health suffers. I am still offering Friendship Fridays in my home twice a month for other mamas to come over to hang out for a few hours. I also seek to grab coffee with friends, attend my Book Club, and go to the farmers market with friends. Being with other women is so needed and vital!

Meditation:

When are we going to carve out the time to meditate on Jesus? To sit and breathe and pray and allow His Word to sustain and encourage and speak Truth to our hearts? This is spiritual health and where the Source of Wholeness is found!

So as the holidays begin their approach and the to-do lists and demands of life grow, do make sure you are taking care. You need strength and wholeness to serve and love your husband, children, friends, co-workers. No one else will do this for you! We must be wise women who love ourselves well so that we can do the same for those around us.

photo credit

Building Habits

2010-09-12T08:36:00.006-05:00

"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with her children. All day she is crying out, 'Do this!' and they do it not; 'Do that!' and they do the other."
~ Charlotte Mason

After a lazy summer of long days and little structure, I think we all feel some sigh of relief when the fall approaches with promises of cooler days, stronger routines, and new/revisited goals and plans. We have taken a gentle approach to finding our home rhythm again. I find it harsh to have the carefree days of summer come to screeching halt and have children begin a full-blown schedule and workload seemingly overnight. Doing too much too fast results in grumpy, tired family members, and instead of a sense of joy for new beginnings, there can be seeds of loss and resentment.

I have been adding something new to our routine every week to get us all back into the swing of chores, learning, and growing side by side. We have talked about building new "habits" this year...for now, we are working on attention and truthfulness. Re-reading many of Charlotte Mason ideas on habit training have been so inspiring to me ...I never took the habit training part of her writings as seriously as I am now (the pressure of five children will do that to you!)

"Educate the child in right habits and the man's life will run in them without the constant wear and tear of the moral effort of decision. Once, twice, three times in a day, he will still, no doubt have to choose between the highest and the less high, the best and the less good course. But all the minor moralities of life may be made habitual to him. He has been brought up to be courteous, prompt, punctual, neat, considerate; and he practices these virtues without conscious effort."

"Habit may be begun in a moment, formed in a month, confirmed in three months, become the character, the very man, in a year."

"We have lost sight of the fact that habit is to life what rails are to transport cars. It follows that lines of habit must be laid down towards given ends and after careful survey, or the joltings and delays of life become insupportable. More, habit is inevitable. If we fail to ease life by laying down habits of right thinking and right acting, habits of wrong thinking and wrong acting fix themselves of their own accord."

I know that in my own life that following Flylady for a long season really built solid work habits in my life. I had no structure, no routine and plenty of bad habits when Mike and I first started our journey together. Over time and with a willing heart, I was able to solidify habits in my home life that are "auto-pilot" now...my house stays relatively picked up, laundry keeps moving, dishes are done. I have built daily systems in these basic areas which frees me to focus my mental and emotional energies on things that I love like cooking and sewing and decorating and thinking up new ideas.

It would be such a privilege to see my children grow in habits that would serve them and others...that would become instinctual and overflowing...so that they can be free to do all the other things that God has for them and not get bogged down in figuring out the basics.

Now I must build the habit of helping them build habits! It always starts with the mom! How can we expect good choices out of our children if we ourselves aren't taking the time and energy to teach them? For me this is a great challenge...I really *feel* my need for God's grace to help me in this, which is always the best place to be!

Tweaking Our Dinner Plans

2010-09-06T17:20:00.002-05:00

I have really really been enjoying getting into the routine of going to our local organic farmers' market on Saturday mornings. It's such an alive atmosphere and a happy place to be! My visits have caused me to renew my commitment to choose to eat better meats...grass fed beef, organic chicken, pastured pork, and wild caught seafood.

In order for our family to do this, we really need to limit the amount of meat that we eat. "Clean" meats are more expensive yet the quality and health benefits are worth every penny. Each week we will have a menu that allows for meat four times a week and the other three nights will be low-cost vegetarian meals. This is a huge step for us!

Our meat meals:

Two times a week will be beef (1 lb. of ground beef and a 1 1/2 lb top sirloin).
One night a week will be chicken (bone-in breasts and legs or a whole chicken).
One night a week will be seafood (either salmon, tilapia or shrimp).
One package of bacon or sausage for Saturday or Sunday breakfast.

For our vegetarian meals:

One dinner will be a pasta dish. (I have a delicious Penne with Gorgonzola and Tomatoes recipe!)
Another dinner will be a Mexican meal (think black beans, corn, and rice burritos!)
The third will probably be soup or chili since we are heading into fall.

I am really excited about these choices! It is important for my conscience to live in a way that I feel respects creation...whether the beautiful land, seas, or precious animals. Yet I know myself well enough to know that if I don't make a concrete plan, then my goals just fall by the wayside.

I love feeling like I am getting to a more authentic place of living...that my actions are slowly mirroring the ideals of my heart. I want to live with integrity in what I feel is good and right with heavy doses of overflowing grace along the way.

image credit

Finding My Homeschooling Heart

2010-08-25T17:23:00.006-05:00

As all of the "back-to-school" hoopla started amping up the past few weeks, I had a growing sense of discouragement and lack of direction. I would sit and think about homeschooling and almost immediately my energy would begin to plummet and a sense of dread would creep in. Then I would feel so horribly guilty for feeling that way and would wonder, "What is wrong with me?"

After all that terrible guilt, fear raised its ugly head and I began the online hunt to find someone to just "tell me what to do". My clamoring mind said "Quick, just buy something! Quick, do what she does! Quick, get your act together!"

After a few weeks of this rollercoaster, I figured out that somewhere along the way I have simply lost my heart for educating my children. I have kept a "safe distance" from really enjoying homeschooling again because I fear that this lovely lifestyle will come to a screeching halt (as it did 3 years ago), and I will need to put them back in school. I realized that deep down that I thought this: Why invest so deeply and richly in an ideal if it is all going to end?

I told a dear friend about this awful heart dilemma...that I knew God had called me to trust Him to homeschool again this past year, but that I was holding it all at arm's length and not giving my children my whole heart. And in the way that only a true and good and godly friend can, she said, "So you aren't really trusting God then." And I realized, that no, I am not. But I want to.

So I have spent the past week talking to Him about my heart and my fears and leaning into Him and asking and seeking and begging for His will and His ways to be done in me. And He is answering! He isn't leading me to some magic bullet curriculum, but back to my heart's original vision in homeschooling. A Charlotte-Mason inspired, relaxed homeschool with lots of great books, time outdoors, long discussions, real life math, art and music appreciation, imaginative play, and interest-led projects.

I didn't need a new curriculum, I just needed my heart back.

I felt my joy and energy return and know that He is working all things for good in our lives and that I really can trust Him no matter what the educational future holds for any of us. We walk these lifestyle paths by faith...one trusting step at a time.

photo credit

Peaches from China?

2010-08-25T10:44:00.005-05:00

I got sucked in to buying these Dole packaged peaches at Publix this past week. It's hard to pass up a "BOGO" deal and these little things make life easy for feeding a toddler a quick snack. I bought them with a little wince because I don't like the non-environmentally-friendly packaging but sometimes I let some ideals go in order to relieve snack-stress.

So here I am thinking I am feeding my baby peaches from here in America... I don't like that I know that they are probably not locally grown, but it's okay for this week.

Then I flip over the package only to see that these little peaches CAME FROM CHINA!?!? What?! I just bought a product that came from halfway across the globe to California and then traveled across the country to SC?!? No telling the crazy chemicals in those things and think of all the fuel and energy it took to transport it across the world?! Why are American companies perpetually the slave-to-cheap and will sacrifice using a locally grown, sustainable, and quality product for just saving some cash?

I have peaches growing just 10 minutes away. I will again take the effort to go buy those juicy, fresh beauties. No amount of packaged "ease" is worth spending my money on...especially for a fruit being grown who-knows-how halfway across the planet.

Sometimes BOGO isn't a great deal after all.

An Egg!

2010-08-14T15:13:00.003-05:00

Well, she did it. Our dear sister Martha laid her first egg. We are all extremely proud of her...hugs, cheering and photo-taking all in her honor!

The Messy Beautiful

2010-08-13T10:39:00.006-05:00

I decided yesterday that my attitude in my home needed changing. Every time I walked into a room in my home and found a "mess" I felt irritated and frustrated. Stress would build. I would get snappy at my family and impatient and unhappy.

I realized that I wasn't choosing to find beauty and thankfulness in the messes.

To change my perspective and renew my mind, I decided to carry my camera around in my pocket to capture the messes. To really *see* beauty in the undone...and as an act of faith, choose thankfulness. To be grateful for my children, for authentic living, for a comfortable home, for daily bread, for grace in my imperfections, for mercy in weakness.

It actually became funny. I started hoping that I would stumble upon a mess so that I could snap a photo and rejoice. It's amazing that when we re-frame a situation--looking at it as good instead of bad--our whole attitude can change. My circumstances don't look any different: messes abound.

The difference is me.

For Good

2010-08-09T14:18:00.003-05:00

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

I never get tired of that promise. It's easy to believe it when you can see God's faithfulness with hindsight, but what if you are in the midst of a trying situation?

You cling to this promise for dear life.

If you have relationship problems, believe that He will work out the heart-pain for good in your life.

If you have financial problems, believe that He will work for good in those dark, anxiety-filled days.

If you have fears of the future or even of the present, He is right there working for good in your situation.

As His child, you can know that He will accomplish good things...and most of the good things aren't seen things. Many times the good things are the unseen fruit that is born in our character, in our attitudes, in making us a little bit more like Jesus.

So whatever life may be tossing your way, we can find rest and peace. Rest in knowing that no matter how bad it feels or how confusing it seems, He has a good plan for us.

Escaping the Rat Race

2010-08-08T12:51:00.003-05:00

rat race

Function: noun

Date: 1939

: strenuous, wearisome, and usually competitive activity or rush

: an activity, job, or situation in which there is a lot of competition and people are too busy to relax or enjoy themselves

I have never been drawn to the American Rat Race. Just the thought of it makes me tired. Long work hours, pursuing money/career at the cost of family relationships, carting kids around to day-care, schools, activities, eating on the run, and then falling into bed exhausted only to wake up and start all over again!

Last night as Mike and I were talking "life" and "goals" and "ideals", I realized that even if you bow out of the bigger American Rat Race, there are still smaller, sub-culture rat races that are easy to get sucked into.

Like Home Education. I love homeschooling, but isn't it easy within this movement to get caught up in the unspoken competition? Whether its grades or projects or activities or character? When you read the above definitions of "rat race", then you can see how something as wonderful as homeschooling can become a "strenuous, wearisome and competitive activity or rush" or a choice that makes your family "too busy to relax or enjoy themselves". A learning rat-race.

Like Parenting. Running children around to too many extracurricular activities, sleep-overs, "opportunities"...getting them up early and to bed too late. Eating on the go and cramming in life lessons as you fly down the highway. A mommy rat-race.

Like Christian ministry. Pushing and pushing to serve and witness and teach...and then comparing your ministry's fruit with someone else's (competition!) A "holy" rat-race.

Really any smaller lifestyle that looks like it should provide peace and simplicity can turn into its own kind of rat race if we allow it to.

Anytime we push and strive and rush and compare and compete within our own social and lifestyle circles, we are giving into a vicious cycle that leaves us just as weary and worn and neglectful of our families just like the big-money executives who work 80 hour weeks at the expense of their families.

We need to find our rest in Jesus. We need to not think that we can do it all or that we are super heroes. We need to let go of the perfectionistic pushing and allow our hearts to know the freedom of our limits. To find grace in falling short. To find humor in our messes. To be satisfied with weakness.

Because it is in that place, that He is Strong.

Fighting Consumerism

2010-08-08T11:29:00.005-05:00

My real love for a simple life began after college when I spent two years living in Eastern Europe. The slower pace of living, the unhurried days, and the limited choices in housing, food, clothing, and entertainment gave me time to invest in the things I found important at that time: people, journaling, reading, studying, writing letters, and traveling. My life felt very balanced, productive, and full.

When I re-entered America, I quickly got engaged, joined a ministry full-time, got married, raised financial support, moved a dozen times, got pregnant and finally settled down in a state far away from family and friends. From the get-go, it was really hard to keep our "overseas mindset of living"...which for us meant a focus on close community/team and simple living . For the first time I could really recognize how our culture bombards us with crazy levels of advertising and seeks to keep us chronically discontent... let's face it: you aren't going to spend a lot of money on a bunch of stuff if you are happy and content!

I feel like I have to fight against a consumeristic mindset in myself, but now I have to fight it in my children! I am amazed at the level of advertising aimed at children to get them hooked on product branding. Shielding our young ones from this takes a tremendous amount of vigilance and swimming against the societal tide...which can get exhausting. Here is an eye-opening fact sheet of the influence of materialism and stress on families.

Why do we get sucked into all of this? Many times it can be plain old greed...but more often I think we all just crave a sense of worth and belonging. Having stuff that is just like our buddies makes us feel like we are connected and that we belong. We buy into trends...I feel more "acceptable" and good when I have what she has. Our kids struggle and deal with all of these same issues...how can we help them and ourselves?

I think it has to start with understanding the real heart of the Gospel and our significance and worth that is settled in Christ. Meditating on those core truths can transform us into more joyful, content, thankful, and peaceful people. We stop seeking to prove ourselves and find happiness with who God made us as unique individuals, and much of that drive-for-more is broken because we realize we already have everything that matters in Christ.

The freedom and peace of the Gospel makes us comfortable in our own Jesus-designed skin!

On a practical note, we can limit our children's media exposure. Turn off the Disney channel. Seriously. Cut out as much advertising as possible whether through TV commercials or Sunday paper advertising! Our "gimmes" were reduced drastically in myself and in my kids when we stopped getting the Sunday paper a few years ago.

Celebrate hand-made and creativity. Involve kids in making birthday gifts for friends and in Christmas gifts for family. Promote thoughtful/creative giving over Black Friday Deals. Focus on being producers rather than consumers.

Consider spending money on vacations and travel experiences over buying more stuff.

Spend time out in nature exploring a new trail as "fun" instead of going to the latest movies.

Use the public library instead of buying more books.

Model giving money and time. Giving is the ultimate in breaking chains of consumption. And it brings a deep joy to adults and children alike. Sponsor a child. Volunteer with Meals on Wheels. Take a family a meal. Set up a lemonade stand and give the proceeds away. Serve in your church.

There are opportunities all around each one of us each and every day...what if we prayed every morning with our children, "Lord, show us where to give today!"?

photo by eb78

Reordering the Morning

2010-08-03T11:32:00.004-05:00

"I need to start the day (after the prayer and exercise start) with a shower, clothing and lip gloss, and then some quiet time with the Bible. I want my children to find me in that room, with a candle lit and the Bible on my lap when they first wake up. I don't want them to find me staring into my laptop." ~Elizabeth Foss

I kept the computer turned off this morning until around lunchtime...that had been a firm goal of mine in the past but somewhere along the way got neglected. Reading Elizabeth's words (and also these from Rachel) helped me to renew my mindset to stop the morning computer habit. It distracts me from really being present with my children...I am here in my body but not with my mind. It also distracts me from the work I know I need to do in the home and can water seeds of discontent. Not to mention the fact that it is wasting my most-productive, least-tired hours of the day!

So this morning I immediately got up after nursing the baby back to sleep. I quickly slipped on a fresh shirt and a cotton skirt and pulled my hair back into my standard ponytail. I made the bed and then my dear husband brought us our morning coffee. We chatted and read and journaled. When my first little sleepy one came in our room, I felt like I was so much better prepared in body and spirit to see him.

As I got moving around the home, I just felt so tired. I always feel this tired when I come to the end of year 1 with a new baby. Nursing a little one literally drains me. I realize that when I feel this tired, I just want to sit...and that is when the computer gets turned on! So I fought off the urge to go turn it on, and I just sat at the kitchen table with my older children talking. And then I laid on the floor and allowed the baby to crawl all over me. I just allowed myself to accept the fatigue, not run away or distract myself from it, and entered in to relationships with my kids.

If I could keep this goal going, it will change our lives.

I got some energy after that and got some laundry done and the kitchen nice and pretty. I felt inspired to pull out Clean House, Clean Planet and replenish my homemade cleaners that had all run low. The kids played Monopoly and Legos while the baby played in his room while listening to music. It was so peaceful and I was so happy to have my mind uncluttered and free to focus on the task at hand!

Morning internet and email clutters my mind and heart. Pure and simple. It is not easy to stop this habit...and that is what it is, a habit. But that means I can change this habit and begin better habits. It's not without a little pain, but I know the fruit is worth it.

photo by D L Ennis

The Little Way

2010-08-02T12:32:00.005-05:00

"Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love." ~St. Therese

I have spent the past week deeply enjoying the reading of some of the writings of Saint Therese of Lisieux. She was born 100 years before I was and led a small and quiet life as a Carmelite nun in France. She only lived to be 24 years old.

She viewed herself as a "little flower"...one who has been given an ordinary life with ordinary talents with a deep desire to love God simply. She wrote and encouraged walking in a "little way"...this meant walking with Jesus with complete child-like trust. She viewed Him as the most loving, most gentle, most kind... full of infinite mercy and grace...she sweetly called him "adorable Jesus". Her written prayers ring with sincere passion and trust and love.

She came to the realization that her vocation was simple: LOVE. She knew that she was "weak and little" but that His love and mercy covers all of that and gave her the burning passion to love others..."a fire of love".

Her ultimate goal in life was to love Him and make Him loved.

Reading her words and her story lifted a spiritual heaviness that has been on my chest for about two months. It's amazing how coming face to face with the powerful, intoxicating love and grace of Jesus changes and transforms our hurting, restless hearts. The Lord really used her words to pierce through much spiritual woundedness that I have been struggling with and helped to soothe, comfort and encourage me.

Last night I spent much time pouring out my heart to the Lord through journalling ...thanking Him for removing my doubts, my confusions, my spiritual pain...for using a humble Catholic nun to bolster my simple faith and to re-focus me on what I know authentic faith is all about...LOVE. And I feel light and free!

Isn't that what we, the Body of Christ, should be doing? Stooping to lift up the weak. Encouraging the doubting. Lifting spiritual burdens. Cutting off yokes of bondage. Loving the struggling.

Being like Jesus to one another.

Local Eats: Peaches

2010-07-31T19:54:00.002-05:00

One of my lifestyle goals is to consistently choose to eat locally and sustainably. This is easier said than done! With five children in tow, it isn't convenient to get to the farmers' markets to hunt down local goods. It takes extra work and planning for me...and when I feel tired, I opt for convenience for energy's sake.

But when my grocery store advertised "South Carolina Peaches", I was there! I have bought pound after pound of them...so drippy sweet...summer goodness at its peak! And I have tried to get creative by finding new-to-me peach recipes to celebrate our beautiful state's local flavor.

How about Paula Deen's Peach Cobbler? I plan to bake this treat for our family's taste bud enjoyment tomorrow afternoon. Paired with some vanilla ice cream and we will be in fruity nirvana!

For my baby Luke (who actually just turned 1!), I just spent an hour baking some peaches for him. He sits in his highchair and squeals and grins when I place a heaping ramekin of these in front of him! All that peach juice running down his bare little chest just makes him all the sweeter!

And if I could just convince myself that canning isn't as hard as it seems, I would love to try to make this delicious looking peach butter. Wouldn't that make a lovely summer gift for friends or a hostess gift when you are a guest for dinner?

And doesn't this peach salsa look amazing?

How are you managing to use fresh, local ingredients creatively in your cooking?

Lovely Links

2010-07-20T09:36:00.003-05:00

Here are some fun and interesting reads I have come across:

Trading Up...aren't we glad we ended up here?
Femivores...I see that I now have an official title.
The Homework Myth...I don't know a single family that likes it.
The Messy Middle...isn't it time we just accept it?
The Purist Trap...Lord, help me let go of "my way".

The Books of Summer

2010-07-19T13:41:00.003-05:00

:: my summer reads so far ::

The Help ~ Kathryn Stockett
The School of Essential Ingredients ~ Erica Bauermeister
The Happiness Project ~ Gretchen Rubin
Olive Kitteridge ~ Elizabeth Strout
No More Words:A Journal of My Mother, Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ Reeve Lindbergh
Paula Deen: It Ain't All About the Cookin' ~ Paula Deen
Please Don't Eat The Daisies ~ Jean Kerr
Under a Wing: A Memoir ~ Reeve Lindbergh
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks ~ Rebecca Skloot
Ella Minnow Pea ~ Mark Dunn
A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table ~ Molly Wizenberg
The Birth House ~ Ami McKay
The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir ~ Katrina Kenison
Saving CeeCee Honeycutt ~ Beth Hoffman
A Little House Reader: A Collection of Writings by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Give me some of your best summer reading selections?

{this moment}

2010-07-16T11:20:00.004-05:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Doing What I Already Know

2010-07-14T18:43:00.003-05:00

I love blogs. And books. And new ideas and concepts. And magazines. Any good resource. But goodness if I don't run up against "inspiration overload" on a regular basis. Do you?

I get struck by the crazy amount of information that we have access to these days. The ideas and choices are astounding...in cooking, in cleaning, in homesteading, in schooling, in crafting, in decorating, in serving, in organizing, in giving...you name it! There is so much good stuff out there, but sometimes it's like when you eat too much chocolate...you. just. feel. sick.

American Consumerism has found its way into the information realm...how much news or ideas or concepts can I devour today? We blow through blogs or books at lightning speeds to fill our hearts and minds...do we become like big dripping sponges filled with information that need to be wrung out in service and productivity?

Too many times all this inspiration just leaves me tired. It can create a lack of contentment with being simply who I am, where I am, with what I already have. Or subtle forms of guilt sneak their way into my mind...I should cook better, I should clean better, I should decorate differently, I should school differently, I should learn to do what she does....oh that nasty comparison stuff!

Can I be content doing what I already know to do?

Don't get me wrong...I am not going to cancel blog subscriptions or banish my books. It's the whole "all things in moderation"; when you recognize fatigue in yourself, find where the balance has shifted. I already have enough sewing tutorials to last me years. I already have a binder filled with delicious recipes. And I know the way that our family learns best in schooling. I know the way I like to clean and organize my day. I know the life I want to live.

I simply need to rest in what I already know, and live at peace from that place.

Sewing Moments

2010-07-12T08:42:00.010-05:00

Normally I don't sew much in the summer, but a few projects here and there caught my eye and sparked some creativity. I had forgotten how much I love sewing. Baby-brain has kept my project queue minimal this past year...I just can't think effectively enough to read a pattern and complete it!

Here are a few simple projects I have worked on:

counting bean bags for a 4 year old birthday gift

a magnetic go-fish game for Will

for kicks patchwork ball for Luke

patching up some holes on a vintage tea towel

a pair of happy camping pants for Luke (still needs elastic in waist!)

simple table runner top that I pieced last night (hope to finish today!)

found this cute "Little Golden Book" fabric the other day...give me some ideas of what to make with it for my one year old?? was thinking maybe a library tote bag?

The Voice

2010-07-02T14:51:00.002-05:00

As I was nearing the end of last week, I had a few rocky days. Spiritual turmoil and confusion. No matter where I turn I seem to always hear "the voices" of the Christian world telling me their opinions on this and that with the subtle message that their thoughts are God's thoughts and their ways are His ways for everyone. These voices influence me as I sit in the morning to open the Word...

I feel so unsure when I approach the Word. I read it with many of these commentators and Bible teachers' voices whispering their own particular interpretation of the passages. Stress starts building in my mind and heart. It causes me to question and wonder what it really means that the Holy Spirit will guide us into all truth?

I read the Word as a former minister to college students with shades of the Great Commission and discipleship influencing how I should apply the passages and I begin to feel that sinking feeling of "oh no, I am not doing enough for the kingdom".

I read the Word as one spiritually abused in a home church gone awry; these very words I read cause me to flinch as if I am about to be spiritually slapped by a righteously indignant and berating God who wants nothing less than sinless perfection.

I read the Word with the subtle influences of many--charismatics, evangelicals, theologians and authors from many backgrounds--each with their own version of "truth".

This was the heart-backdrop when I entered church on Sunday...a sense of foreboding.

As an 81 year old pastor (whom I had never heard before) began to speak, I thought, "How can I add another voice to the cacophony of 'authorities' swirling around in my head?" I was about to leave...the spiritual panic was drowning me.

But this gentle man shared his heart humbly.

"I don't know all the answers--I am still learning." He's been a pastor for over 50 years. He shared thoughts on prayer that are simple with the tone of kindness and encouragement--not as a "spiritual giant" who's trying to push me or convict me. I could hardly hear what he was saying because I was so overcome with how beautiful it was to be with him. His spirit exuded humility and simplicity and love.

Through this humble servant, I was reminded of the Word. Not the written Scriptures but the Word made flesh--Jesus. The Humble and Gentle One who gathers children, touches the broken, meets the needy, heals the broken-hearted, upholds the weak, and even fishes with friends. This Word doesn't make me shy away in fear. This Word by His very nature beckons me to touch the hem of His garment--to ask for healing for my spiritual diseases, to be settled by His presence, to learn from His gentle ways. The Authority of humility and service and love.

So I turn my attention away from the voices of Christianity that demand of my spirit and turn to the Voice of One who offers rest for my soul. I make my focus Jesus--not words on a page, not "right theology", not teaching of men, not principles for living.

Oh, to be a humble servant as He is.
A voice to others that points to His Voice.
Work that in me, Jesus, work that in me.

Keep the Little Girls Little

2010-06-21T19:26:00.003-05:00

I took my three oldest children to a local Vacation Bible School this morning. It turned out to be a very large and crazy-chaotic event (wall-to-wall kids and adults! loud! and they lost my registration too!) As I was getting my older two settled in their seating section of 5th and 6th graders, I looked around to find the adult or teen in charge of their group.

Two girls in VBS T-shirts were standing at the end of one of the rows...I gently interrupted their conversation and asked, "Are you two in charge of this 5th and 6th grade group?" They looked at me rather confused, and with a giggle, one said, "No, WE ARE in this group!" I said, "Oh wow! I thought you all were 16!"

And I wasn't kidding!

These girls were as tall as I am and had hair, make-up and mannerisms of teenagers! I looked over at my little daughter Katie and marveled that she looked so young. And I felt very relieved.

This is one of the reasons that we decided to bring Katie back home this past school year. We loved the teachers at her school. We loved the adminstration. Katie was learning a lot and excelling. The biggest problem that I had was that I didn't like that the little 8 year old girls acted like they were 11-13 years old! The disrespect towards adults...the talking about boys...the obsession with clothing and brands...

What happened to things like tea parties?? Those type of events now seem to be viewed as "babyish" and for the 4 year old crowd. Dolls are for kindergarteners, make-believe is silly, and playing dress-up is foolish. This kind of thinking just breaks my heart. I felt strongly that I wanted to bring Katie home simply to enjoy being a "little girl" again. Really "getting her back" though hasn't happened overnight. It's taken a long time for her to relax again and be comfortable really playing.

Seeing her enjoy American Girl dolls, playing restaurant/grocery store, and reading wholesome stories warms my heart. It is refreshing to see her live a life that is age-appropriate and not a striving to be something that her body, soul and spirit are not ready for...a false sense of maturity.

Let's keep the little girls little. May we have the wisdom and grace to guard these precious years...they are special and fleeting and the teen years will be upon us before we know it and then it will be time to deal with such things. But not now....now is the time for tea!

Seasons of Domesticity

2010-06-17T09:53:00.006-05:00

I think when we begin to really invest our lives in the domestic arts, we realize that the creative outlets offered by "home" are limitless. It gets very exciting...and inspirational...and at times, overwhelming. Oh the choices!

Cleaning
Decluttering/Organization
Bookkeeping
Decorating
Painting (walls, furniture, porches, decor, etc)
Sewing (pillows, quilts, curtains, toys, clothes, totes etc)
Knitting
Embroidery
Cooking
Baking
Gardening/Canning
Homesteading
Making your own...cleaners, soaps, candles, body care

This list of possibilities could go on and on!

The home is an amazing place to be and to do.

I get passionate about the domestic life...creating beauty in the everyday is thrilling and gives us a practical platform for worship of the Lord and service to others. I have found that I must take care in realizing that I cannot do all these things at once.

There are seasons in our domesticity just as the seasons of the year:

My Spring is focused on deep cleaning, re-ordering, decorating, painting and gardening. The windows and doors are opened to warm breezes...the broom and dust-cloths are my daily companions. Stealing time away at thrift stores is a weekly treat. Seeds are planted, weeds are pulled, and I feel alive with all the energy the happy sun brings.

My Summer is a continuation of that, albeit slower, along with lots of cooking and time in the kitchen. All the fresh produce begs to be savored and rejoiced over! And the beautiful berries and cherries! To waste away summer in a hammock with bowls of sweet fruit surrounding me...heaven! This is time we vacation, celebrate birthdays, and camp. My favorite season of all.

My Fall is spent focused on creating daily learning and creative rhythms with my children, sewing, baking, and preparing/decorating for the holidays. Everything orange and gold and brown appeals to me...and pumpkin recipes reign on my menus. I always feel a bit melancholy because I am sad to see my sunny days get shorter and shorter.

My Winter is spent knitting, dreaming, reading, journaling, watching movies, putting meals in the Slow Cooker...a quiet hibernation. I used to despise winter, but now I have found it to be an agreeable friend. A season to turn inward, to contemplate, to meditate after a full year of domestic-busy and doing.

Sometimes I get trapped in thinking I need to be pursuing all of my interests all of the time. There simply is NOT enough hours in a day for this. I am not one to micro-manage every hour of my day to "fit everything in". I like to savor my days slowly and allow them to unfold gently. I keep a morning rhythm but allow the rest of my day to be influenced by the season...which for now means chopping and freezing peppers, munching on berries with my kids, preparing delicious marinades for grilling, making baby food, and sprucing up the master bedroom. My yarns are put away, the sewing machine is quiet, and the house is light with minimal decoration.

Here's to savoring the seasons in our homes...and not over-burdening our domestic-selves with unrealistic expectations. Enjoy the quarterly changes and rest knowing that where we are now is not where we will always be.

Mama Truth

2010-06-14T10:23:00.004-05:00

My sweet sparkly John (7) and I were on my bed yesterday reading the story Miss Rumphius. He was wondering why she never got married...and we talked about some of the possible reasons. Then he said, "Well, I am DEFINITELY getting married, and I hope she is just like you!"

This little statement filled my mama-heart to overflowing.

I think that the enemy of our mothering whispers lies over and again..."your children can't stand you", "you are a terrible mother", "they will grow up one day to resent you and all that you are", "you will never be what they need", "you are a total failure".

And to those subtle thoughts, we must tell the Truth.

I am doing my best.

Jesus loves and accepts me.

God chose me to be the mother for these little ones.

He believes in me because He is in me.

Where I come up short as a mother, He will fill in as their Father.

All is grace.

Simple Baby Food

2010-06-11T11:18:00.004-05:00

There are a million websites giving Baby Food 101 instruction along with many great books so I won't spend time here giving a how-to session. But I wanted to say that I have found that taking the time to make-my-own baby food is a wonderful way to give Luke fresh, high-quality fruits and vegetables at just a fraction of the cost of commercially-made jarred food. The above photo is my little "cheat sheet" I typed up to remind me how long to steam vegetables...I slid it into a page protector and keep it out to refer to easily.

If you don't feel like you have the time or inclination to steam, cool, and puree your own, then this little "trick" is for you. The easiest baby food "recipe" is to simply mash a banana and an avocado together in a bowl, freeze in ice cube trays and toss a frozen cube into a self-feeder. This is quick, nutritious, and frees up mama to cook dinner for everyone else! You can get good deals on avocados at Aldi and even better at Sam's Club (75 cents each).

I also found this recipe for "Baby's Beans" but haven't tried it yet. Very simple and very healthy for older babies:

1 (16 oz.) can or 1 1/2 cups cooked organic beans (black, kidney, cannelini)
2 Tbsp. plain organic whole-milk yogurt

Rinse beans. Put beans and yogurt in processor and pulse. For smoother consistency, process long and add more yogurt.

Finally, here is the easiest way that I have found to feed Luke a healthy variety of good foods along with the fact that it has streamlined my food preparation and reduced feeding choices (which gives this tired mama some mental simplicity!) I stumbled upon making "Baby Mush" which has changed everything for me...and Lukey Pook LOVES it!

The Baby Mush Premise: He gets the same meals every day...a protein, a fruit, a veggie, and a grain all mixed together with unsweetened applesauce.

Here's how I make Baby Mush in bulk:

I stir together a "base" :

3/4 cup cooked/pureed black-eyed peas (protein)
3/4 cup mashed bananas
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

Freeze in ice-cube trays. Store in freezer Ziploc bags.

When it's time to feed Luke, I heat up about 3-5 cubes of this base along with 1-2 cubes of a frozen pureed vegetable (usually organic carrots, peas, spinach, broccoli, or sweet potato). I usually add a little water too. Sometimes I'll add a tablespoon of brown rice cereal or oatmeal. The mush is NOT attractive to look at, but it's full of good stuff and I know he is getting a well-rounded meal.

I hope I have given you a little something new in regards to baby-food making...simple menus with good ingredients is what I am all about!

Why I Don't Like Couponing

2010-06-04T13:33:00.003-05:00

Couponing seems to be the "next new thing" that moms are getting into. I see advertisements regularly for couponing seminars and it seems to always find its way as one of the topics of conversation when moms get together. I often hear "we are saving 50-75% off of our grocery budget...isn't that amazing?!"

Now to all you mamas who looooove your couponing, just know that I am not condemning you or sayin' that you shouldn't or whatever. I am just sharing my own experience and observations here. And yes, I do enjoy a good deal and yes, we do have 7 people in our family, and yes, we do live on one-income! So I know the pressure to provide well for my family and to use my money wisely...but I just don't think couponing fits that bill for us.

I have always been a fan of my grocery store Publix. It is very family-friendly, clean, offers high-quality foods, and is environmentally conscious. Years ago I committed to shopping there and never looked back.

But it's changed.

Shelves are regularly cleared out when items are "buy one get one free". My grocery list usually ends up having about 5 items that I am unable to purchase because they have been completely cleared out by those who want the deal along with stacking their coupons on it. Shoppers who never entered Publix doors because of their higher prices now flock there to use their coupons. The store used to have an atmosphere like their slogan: "where shopping is a pleasure". Now the environment feels like one of competition and greed. The other day I watched five women race down aisles with their grocery store list print-out with stacks of coupons paper-clipped to them. It was exhausting to watch. A feeding frenzy, I tell you.

And I wonder if the preparation that it takes to get all of these deals at different grocery stores and pharmacies depletes gas and time and emotional energy? Does it feel addictive and as if you could never go back to simply buying the product at regular price because that would somehow be wrong? Or irresponsible? Or heaven forbid, a poor steward? Yikes.

Does it take time away from the mental energy we need for creative pursuits? Painting, gardening, sewing, writing, photography, scrap-booking, cooking? Does it tempt us to focus our lives on money or on "winning" or "beating the system"? These are just questions I am asking and pondering.

Another problem that I see with it is that the consumer is allowing the grocery stores/companies that produce the coupons to dictate and control what you are buying. Most coupons are for processed foods that are very unhealthy and addictive. I know that some moms only use the couponing method for items that they would normally buy, but you can't tell me that the temptation is not there to scoop up "the deal" when you are looking at a pack of cookies for mere cents. These companies are pushing you towards their products by offering you coupons and making it hard-to-resist. I want to make my own choices as to what we eat and not be financially manipulated towards sub-par products.

Most foods that are truly healthy don't have all those gimmicks attached...fresh fruits and veggies, clean meats, whole grains, organic dairy products...sometimes, but rarely. It costs money to support local and organic. Good things typically don't come cheaply. There IS a price-tag to ethical and conscious consumption, but isn't it worth it?

I had a talk with the Assistant Manager at Publix about it all. He said that in his 25 years of being in the grocery business this is the biggest challenge he has ever faced. He says in that many ways it is as if they are now a wholesale purchasing club and the couponing/swap-meet phenomenon is only beginning to really pick up steam. Oh how I miss the simplicity of Muzak, slow shopping, and well-stocked shelves!

May we all enjoy a good deal...but not with a price-tag that may appear low, but in the end is actually very high because it robs us of our health, our time, and our mental/emotional energy.

And now I am off to make my farmers' market plan...

Beach Bound

2010-05-20T11:30:00.003-05:00

It's that time of year again. The time when our family heads to the beach for lovely rest and relaxation. I have a few simple beach traditions that I always look forward to:

going unplugged. No cell phone or computer. It is pure bliss! My mind and spirit get "uncluttered" every year when I take that techno-break and I always feel very renewed.
writing postcards. I love heading to the local beach shop and picking up a handful of postcards to send to faraway family and friends. Finding snippets of time throughout my beach days to pen a few greetings makes me happy.
visiting the beach used bookstore. I usually pick up a little something like beach-y picture books for the kids or bookmarks or a great coastal field guide.
peeking around Miss Minnie's Antique shop. I always find a few little gems...a pretty tablecloth, a homemaking book, an apron, or some vintage kitchen goods.
cooking a Lowcountry boil and eating it out on picnic tables covered in newspaper.
reading, reading, reading. I always begin with Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
sitting and contemplating while my kids romp in the sand and surf.
coffee on the front porch every morning with Mike.

I do believe this is the perfect vacation. Yes, it is.

Writing Letters

2010-05-12T17:18:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's crazy that over the period of the last week I have read three different posts regarding the wonderment of letter-writing. Instead of re-writing all of the great ideas that these women have already shared, I'll just leave it to you to go read their thoughts :)

I have written before about the small bag I put together to make letter and note writing easy for me, but I have neglected it since sweet baby Luke came. It's a practice that I miss and is certainly a wonderful way to slow down in life while taking time to encourage another.

How about you? Do you enjoy letter-writing? Receiving care packages? Does it feel burdensome or encouraging? How do you make time to do this?

Shall we begin a letter-writing revolution?

Distracted

2010-05-11T09:46:00.004-05:00

I am currently evaluating how distracted I am. My heart and mind have not been with my children lately. And I find myself seeking to get away from them during the day at any chance I get. I don't want to focus on them or move towards them. I have wanted them to stay busy and on their own. This really grieves me. I don't want to view them as a drain or source of frustration and fatigue!

Not sure of all the reasons why I am at this mothering-place. Don't even think that I necessarily need to know why (navel-gazing is an awful distraction too!). I just need to know that by golly I am distracted and need to change.

These posts have all come to me while I have already been thinking these things. Confirmation, I'd say.

Time for Play

Pay Attention

Why The Kids Really Need A Red Hen Mama

Laughing

2010-05-05T20:13:00.004-05:00

I take life seriously and spend a lot of my time thinking and reflecting...which can lead me to take myself too seriously and I can forget to laugh...that real deep and loud and long laughing.

Recently my husband and I have been watching past seasons of "The Office" (through Netflix) in bed at night on our laptop. Can I tell you how fun that has been? We laugh and joke as we watch...and then the next day we call each other and repeat off-the-wall quotes from the episodes we just watched and laugh all over again.

It has been so good for our marriage!

It's so easy for us to roll through these days of marriage as co-workers. Getting the daily tasks done around the house, focusing on the children, checking off lists, talking deep and falling into bed exhausted. It's easy to forget to be silly and laugh! To simply chill-out and relax and watch something hilarious is amazingly good for the marriage-soul.

If you find your marriage in a place where tensions are running high or stress is getting the better of your relationship, remember that laughter can be the best marital medicine. Read comics to each other. Learn some corny jokes. Play a little prank. Or watch a silly movie or TV show together. Show your funky dance groove with some favorite music. The point is: have fun again!

It is hard to stay mad or irritated with each other when we are laughing and having fun. In fact, all of this laughter seems to make us more attracted to each other and desirous of more time together. Laughing together heals and bonds and brings lightness...and we really need that in this crazy painful world.

Raising Chickens

2010-05-01T09:20:00.005-05:00

Yep. We are raising chickens!

For years Mike and I have talked about having a few laying hens. With having young children, we thought that we just couldn't handle raising more little lives. :) We realized that we didn't want to keep putting aside our small homesteading dreams just because of our "stage of life".

So I checked out a few books from the library. Then I talked to two local friends who raise chickens AND children to get a realistic perspective on what the daily rhythm would look like. I found some helpful websites and entertaining blogs. And then we headed to a local feed and seed and found our little chicky peeps. Six Little Women to be exact.

It has been incredibly easy.

The sistahs are living it up in a Rubbermaid bin with a small feeder, waterer, pine shavings, and a heat lamp in my master bathtub! We make sure their water and food is clean and filled twice a day and change their shavings twice a week. That's it! We have an old dog pen in the backyard that we are converting to the coop quarters and will be moving them out there in the next week. We take them outside every few days for about 30 minutes of fresh air and roaming and exploring. I love it!

Every time we make one small simple step towards a more self-sufficient lifestyle, it feels very liberating and empowering. Living sustainably and knowing where your food comes from is such an exciting adventure. Homesteading isn't just for farmers or families who own a few acres. There are backyard homesteads everywhere and people are growing their own food on teeny-tiny plots of land in urban areas!

If "getting back to the land" and simple living interests you, don't let your location keep you from your dream. Start small with containers of veggies grown on your back porch or apartment balcony. Grow herbs on a windowsill. Bake some sourdough bread and try making your own yogurt. Make your own cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, and deodorant. Put up a clothesline. Plant a blueberry bush. Raise some urban chickens!

Start with where you are and what you have. Keep it simple.

Fresh eggs, anyone?

**by the way, I just finished this great book that I found in the library...a quick and fun read on small-scale homesteading!**

photo credit

Second Guessing

2010-04-30T10:34:00.008-05:00

Do you ever catch yourself second-guessing your lifestyle decisions? I do regularly and that's where I have been.

Back in my 20's I was oh-so-confident. I was unbudging and unyielding in the beliefs and ideas that I held dear. I lived my life with conviction that my choices were right and good and true. They say (or rather He says) that pride goes before a fall. And boy did I fall.

I found myself in the midst of a very abusive and controlling spiritual situation. It didn't happen overnight...it happened over a period of years. This was years of my spiritual life and beliefs being slowing eroded and undermined and replaced by someone else's way of thinking. After I left this situation, I was a spiritual and emotional and physical train-wreck. Post-traumatic stress disorder in all of its ugliness. I had been broken and humbled. I had been the one who knew I would never fail at anything in life...and now all that self-righteous pride was shattered. I had failed as a wife, a mother, a family member, a friend, and as a follower of Jesus.

The good news was that my "failure" brought me to a place where I could finally taste the goodness and greatness and sweetness of the grace of the Gospel of Jesus.

However, an unfortunate consequence of that situation has been that I don't trust myself or my decision-making. I realize how easily I can be deceived so I want to live humbly and trusting in God. In every decision that we make (whether it's about work or housing or education or ministry or whatever), I feel a bit terrified. I wonder and question whether or not I am hearing God or being misled by man's teaching or following a self-path. As a result, I find it difficult to find joy in the paths that we have chosen because I fear that I am being duped.

This double-mindedness is wearing me down. I want to walk in a humble confidence in the paths that we have chosen through prayer and process. I want to have clear, singular focus and not anxiety, questioning, guessing at every turn. I want to trust God's gentle lead and the intuitive gut that He has given me (that I rejected and ignored over and again through the years). I want to rest in the truth that even when I fail, His gentle correction is there to steer me back to straight paths.

I want to walk by faith. And faith is tough when you had faith in lies that you thought were truth. My faith has to ultimately be in the Person of Jesus and not in my decisions, ideals, or lifestyle. Looking to Him as my Shepherd is the only Way. He really is THE Way, THE Truth, THE Life. So when the doubts and questions come, I look at Him. And I seek to follow Him in His character and ways....and trust in the freedom that He has given His children to choose many different paths/lifestyles all of which can glorify Him and keep us humble in the process.

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